Hang Up [Unedited]

xviii

26 July, 2014. 4:15pm.

Andrew: Hello Jewel.

Jewel: Why do you sound so monotone? Seriously Drew tell me what's wrong.

Andrew: The city was fun.

Jewel: Then why don't you sound like you had fun?

Andrew: I did honest, we went to Starbucks and everything.

Jewel: Who is we?

Andrew: My mother, Chloe, and I. I was in hell when they started trying on dresses in some store.

Jewel: It couldn't have been that bad.

Andrew: They tried on six dresses each. EACH!

Jewel: Okay I get it. At least you sound a little bit happier.

Andrew: You kinda helped with that I guess. It also makes me happy that at least they had a good time.

Jewel: If they went shopping what did you do?

Andrew: I just followed them around and helped with their clothes. When we meet promise me you'll never take me dress shopping.

Jewel: That'll be an easy promise to keep since I don't wear dresses.

Andrew: Glory! I don't think I want to see another sparkly purple dress in my life.

Jewel: There is nothing wrong with sparkly things.

Andrew: Yes there is.

Jewel: And what is wrong with sparkly things.

Andrew: The word sparkly itself first of all. Secondly, anything that twinkles in the sunlight should be burned.

Jewel: Edward Cullen.

Andrew: Him too. I was team Jacob all the way but I didn't even like Twilight.

Jewel: We are becoming the same person more and more each day. Twilight was one of the worst loves stories ever written. Like the story line probably would have been better if Edward didn't sparkle. Because from what I've heard vampires disintegrate in the sun.

Andrew: I think it would be a better storyline if it didn't involve any type of supernatural things and Bella wasn't a desperate hoe.

Jewel: I'm weak! You did not just say that! Dude like when ever Edward didn't give her what she wanted she start crying and shit. I'm just like bitch please.

Andrew: And obviously Edward didn't see that she was bad for him. If he wouldn't have this thing for her the Volturi wouldn't have tried to a) kill her in the first place and b) kill his whole damn family either.

Jewel: But on the bright side Jacob has Renesmee and I'm so confused as to what the hell their child will be.

Andrew: I would love to see a spin off of that. It'd probably be better than the actual book.

Jewel: I honestly think though that if something is a really good book it should stay that way. A book. Movies ruin things, like people don't even read the books to things anymore. Like Divergent, I asked someone had they read and they were like "no I just saw the movie." I've never wanted to rip somebody's face off so bad.

Andrew: I heard that was a good book. I liked the Hunger Games though, Katniss was boss as hell.

Jewel: Ooo, are we gonna have another French lesson today?

Andrew: Probably not today, but did you say goodbye yet?

Jewel: Oui, Au revoir.

Andrew: Well done, and you know how to say yes. See you're a natural.

Jewel: My smile just grew extremely big like three times bigger. My face hurts.

Andrew: Why are you smiling so big then?

Jewel: Because you just made my night. Like my night is has literally just been made.

Andrew: But I didn't do anything?

Jewel: It's just that you kinda made say a little word seem like the biggest accomplishment in the world. When in reality that's not even a scratch on the surface of the language.

Andrew: Even the smallest of achievements needs praise and acknowledgement.

Jewel: I'll remember that. Okay this sucks but I really have to go. My mom just called me over five times in two minutes.

Andrew: Maybe you should answer that. I'll talk to you soon.

Jewel: Soon?

Andrew: Soon, because later is just to fucking far away.

Jewel: Talk to you soon.

*click*