Right In Front Of You

Chapter 51 - I Don't Want it!

A Month Later;
Suzie's POV;

I had finally managed to put what happened behind me. I was back at work, dressing the way I always had before I had been attacked and screw what everyone thought of me. Shaun had taken too much from me already and I'd be damned if I was going to let him take anymore; especially the strong connection that I had with Jeff. But now, I was faced with a new and very real nightmare.

It was the kind of nightmare that I had been silently begging to right itself but no; here I was sat in my truck, parked in the supermarket parking lot staring at the box in my hands. It had really come to this, I had stayed with Jeff at Matt's house last night and when I had woken up an hour earlier and still nothing, I knew that it was time to find out for sure.

So now here I was fighting inwardly with myself that it would be best to know but then I'd argue that the longer I stayed in ignorance, the happier I would be. Throwing the box on to the passenger seat, I turned the key in the ignition and it roared to life.

Driving back to Matt's house, I couldn't stop the tears from falling from my eyes. All I could think about was the fact that I somehow deserved this! That maybe by not stepping forward and naming Shaun's killer; I was being punished!

This couldn't be happening!

I wasn't ready!

There was still so much that I wanted to do with my life!

Having a baby would not only put an end to my plans but it would mean that I would be tied down for God knows how long.

Then there was the fact that I had absolutely no idea who the Father was. In a perfect world it would be Jeff; but this was the real world. There was no such thing as the perfect world.

There was the very strong possibility that Shaun was the Father, as much as I thanked God for the fact that he hadn't used a condom when he had raped me, I was now in a predicament. And as much as a blessing of him being dead was, that was part of the reason that I was now embedded firmly in this living nightmare. Shaun's Family were intent on solely blaming me for their son's death. So much so that they had started a hate campaign against me.

Shaun's Mother; Sally was overbearing at best, she was the worst out of the whole Family. It had gotten to the point where I had, had to get a restraining order against her when she had been camped outside my club with a huge carboard sign with MURDERER! Written on it.

If she was to find out that I was pregnant, forget that stupid restraining order, a herd of wild horses couldn't keep her away! She would demand DNA tests as soon as I gave birth and heaven forbid it turned out to be her Grandchild; she'd fight me all the way to get sole custody.

Pulling in to Matt's property with the tears still falling freely from my eyes. Matt and Jeff came in to view as they broke free from the garage. I watched as they stepped aside so I could park my truck. My man, the man that I loved more than I had ever thought it was possible to love someone.

What if I was pregnant?

What if it is Shaun's baby?

Could I have another man's baby?

The door to my truck opened before I could wipe the tears from my eyes or before I could hide the test that I had planned on taking when Jeff had gone back on the road.

"Baby what's wrong?" Jeff asked instantly pulling me in to his arms. "What's happened?" Holding me close as I trembled until his eyes landed on the test that lay on the passenger seat. "Are you...?"

"I-I think so," I sobbed softly unable to look at him or Matt so my head hung low and almost instantly I was in Matt's bear like embrace where he whispered soft soothing words of encouragement to me.