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I hope you choke on every lie you told me, Because they killed me. What was even worse was after everything happened. Months and Months of wondering how long you where lying. How long you pretended to care and love me. Why? Why would you mess with my feelings, surely atleast in the beginning you cared about me so why? Why would you hurt someone you once cared about so much.
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How amazing it is that friendships can become so full that you can't imagine what your life was like before. But whats really amazing is how you never realize how empty your life would be without them, untill their gone.
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I don't want anyone else to have you, Even when I don't own you yet, And this is unfair, Because you already have me. You will always have me, whether it be a little bit of my heart or the whole thing. You will always have a piece of me, and I will never have a piece of you.
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I wish I knew what was inside your head. What you think of me? What you think of other people? If I picked up my cell phone right now and sent you a text, would you read it?
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How do I say I miss you in a way that will make your heart ache as mine does? How can I possibly explain to you how much I love you? Would it even be fair ti me? To tell you how much I miss and love you for you to not even care.
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It's sad when someone can walk right by you and pretend you were never a big part of their life. It's sad that it take you ages and ages to get over them, while they are walking around like everythings fine. That person constantly haunts you, even when their no where near you. You see things that remind you of them. Or someone says something that they would say. It hurts.
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I miss me, the old me. The new one sucks. The old me knew who I was, who I wanted to become. This me doesnt give a shit about anything or anyone, and has no clue what she wants to do.
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It's silly, isn't it. You're surrounded by people who love you and you can only think about the ones who don't.
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"There are nights I cry so hard that my body aches and I shake and I have to put my head in my pillow so no one hears me. There are also nights I'm happy that you're happy and I think everything happens for a reason. And there are also nights where I feel nothing at all. But there is never a night that you don't cross my mind."
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'But you are your own hero because everyone is too busy saving themselves.' I am screwed then.
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I guess I was irreplaceable until you found better, right? Do you know how horribe it feels to be replaced? Nevermind of course you don't because your the one who replaced me. It's undescribable.
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I hate when people see me cry because I want to be that strong girl. At the same time though, I hate how nobody notices how torn apart and broken I am. I am so confused, I don't know what I want anymore.
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Let's vow to never become the monsters that we are trying to protect ourselves from. They suck.
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'You never know exactly how much space you occupied in people's lives.' Once I had to leave, my whole world turned upside down. And I havent been the same since.
