Melting Ice

Chapter 50

"It's not over yet Hadley", I hiss through gritted teeth, trying to pluck his hands off of me.
"It will be soon", he laughs and looks me dead in the eye. And I know that we are pretending and it's all in my mind, but I feel my throat close and my eyes close. When they open, everything has changed. I'm back in the arena. Stop it Clove! Your making it up! Snap out of it! I yell at myself but I doesn't calm me down what so ever. I'm stuck on that cornucopia wall again, screaming for Cato but this time nothing comes out.
"You killed her", someone whispers to begin with but it gradually gets louder and louder until it's an ear killing screech in my mind, in my body. Finally, I scream one last time, "Cato!".
It's not real! Your safe Clove! My screams continue as I'm being shook my strong arms. I scream and scream until my throat is rawr and painful. No tears dampen my cheeks but I feel sweat trickle down my forehead.
"Clove!", he calls, "Your okay!". He? I'm still shaking, lying on a cold surface with the sweat still coming off of me.
"Clove!". It must be Cato. It has to be Cato. Slowly, I flutter my eyes open.
"C-C-Cato", I whimper. A body slips down beside me and his arm slips across my shoulder but I shake it away and continue trying to calm myself.
"Sh", he comforts, "It's okay". His words are like a drug, making me feel better, happier. Once again, he tries to pull him in. Only this time I give in and let my shaking body be held by his strong arms. I breathe out, then in. It was all pretend.
"I was dying", I whisper to him although it's clear that no one will hear me.
"I'm here now", Cato reassures, "I won't do it again". Then it hits me, if only he didn't touch me, if only he didn't put me up against that wall; none of this would of happened. I flick his arm away and nudge my way from him.
"Clove".
"No", I say before he speaks.
"Clove", he tries again.
"Why?", is all I ask.
"You know I meant no harm to you what so ever. You know I would never upset you or be mean to you. It was a stupid mistake and I wasn't thinking", he takes a deep breath, "And I'm sorry".
"It's okay", I mumble. No it's not. He hurt you! But I can't bring myself to ever be mad at him for long, just one glance into those perfect eyes, perfect lips, his perfect kiss...
"Okay", he whispers into my ear. Gently, he touches my chin with his fingers so it's tilted upwards and leans in close. So close his breath tickles my face.
"Okay", I reply and lean in closer, as close as I can get without us kissing. Our noses bump softly as we gaze into each other's eyes. His eyes...the way his lips curl when he sees me staring.
"Don't you know it's rude to stare?", he jokes, quoting from our first train journey to the Capitol.
"I'm not", I say in defence, "I'm admiring them".
"Then I have every right to admire your lips...just a bit closer", his words slow down by the end of the sentence. Because I trust him more now, I move closer so he has better access to me. Our lips push together slowly, gradually getting rougher until we are in a full make out session. Our hands literally everywhere, our mouth moving at the same time. I run my fingers up and down his back as he is slowly edging his way up my top.
We break apart, "Just tell me when to stop", Cato tells me.