Melting Ice

Chapter 47

Clove

I don't have a child. She was a lie. She is gone, we must be safe; why don't I feel like it then? Cato grips my hands and this time I don't pull away, they fixed my wrist, "It's okay", he whispers.
"I know", I tell him and hold his hands even tighter, "Let's just go home". He nods and lightly kisses my cheek. I sense something in his touch, need. My left hands strokes his hair gently and I gently lean in to his lips and kiss him gently, at first but, he becomes the Cato I used to always see as he messes with my jacket and my hands get tangled up in his soft blonde hair. We continue until something hits me, mentally, I gasp, "Cato, no".
He gives me a very confused look, "What?".
"It's just going to be the same", I tell him as I search for my top.
"What are you talking about Clove?".
"Us. Something is going to go wrong".
"We aren't going to be split up again".
"No", I continue, "If we do this, who gonna be there to tell us if our child is a creature?".
"This time, we are going to do it right. I promise".
"You can't promise that type of thing Cato", I argue as I slip everything back on.
"I'm sorry", he tells me, "I won't do it again. Just tell me when to stop". I don't reply. "I promise I will stop next time, I can keep that promise". I give in but wait for him to pull me back on, which he does and we tangled up with each other again. This time, he only goes as far a kissing my neck and the bit of my chest that isn't covered.
"I'm sorry", I sniff.
"Why?", he asks softly.
"You want to do this, and I'm holding you back".
"I want what makes you happy Clovers".
"I want to do this but I'm scared", i whisper.
"The same thing can't happen again".
"No, not that", I lean in closer so only he can hear, " I'm a virgin". His eyes widen so wide I'm scared they are going to pop.
"What? You can't be", he says a bit to loud.
"When they fixed my wrist...they kind of remade my body".
"What?", he repeats.
"I don't know how...", I find the bit of paper that has the proof.
"Oh...but technically your not", he says rubbing my arm gently.
"I have to go through the same", I pause to search for the right word, "Um...process again".
"Is it he same for me?", Cato asks.
"I don't know", I tell him quietly.
"Are we ever going to have a normal relationship?", he laughs.
"I-I don't know", I stutter, "But I love you", I blurt out.
"Come here", he pulls me onto his lap so I'm in a straddle position, facing him,"I will wait for whenever you are ready". As if nothing has happened, I kiss him hard, my arms wrapped around his neck. For whatever life throws at us; we are ready.
The days pass like a piece of paper in the wind. They mean nothing to me; so lifeless, so easy to forget. Quietly, I slip down the stairs of our home and into the kitchen. I rack my way through the cupboards of food until I come across one of my favourite old energy bars I used to practically live on when I was training for the games. My eyes close slightly at the sweet taste and the chewy sensation; it's just like old times. Someone's cold hands grab my waist as I'm making my way to the door.
"Cato!", I squeal.
He turns me round with a firm grip so I have no escape, "Good Morning beautiful".
"Let go", I say with a firm tone, "I have training to get to".
"Your 18, the training programme is cancelled. Why would you need to get there at this time?", he asks, still holding me.
"Because", I push him away, "It's open for public use. So I'm gonna use it".
"But I will miss you", he moans, fake crying.
"I'm literally a few blocks away", I laugh as I cross my arms.
"Still...".
"Cato, we actually have a shot at being a normal couple. But that also means I get to go training", I tell him.
"I'm coming with you then", he argues whilst pulling me back into his bare arms.
"I just need to clear my head", I admit, "We lost our daughter and have no clue were she could be, I'm 18 and I need to find a job-".
"Come back to sleep and we can cuddle and talk", he suggests pulling me back towards the stairs.
"We both know what that always leads to...".
He laughs, "We haven't done anything like that in months!".
"You know why", I say quieter.
"Clovey", he says sweetly, "It will be okay. We have done it before".
"The first time was because we though we would never get the chance but, now we don't have to rush into things", I argue back.
"Such as?".
"Well...things like marriage".
"Marriage?", Cato raises an eyebrow.
"Just as an example...", I pause, "And like...kids".
"So we are going to have kids?", he smirks happily.
"Sometime", I mutter, "I really feel like I'm holding you back, you know? If you really want to do this now-".
"I'll wait", he interrupts.
"One day", i whisper and our lips crash together once more.