Valhalla High (A Magnus Chase Fanfic)

Hearthstone Becomes Freud

    Thought and Memory were discussing their respective translations of the Poetic Edda when we came into the principal's office. They looked up and sighed, fixing their gazes on us. I could feel their sharp eyes examining my friends, Utgard-Loki, his posse, and I. They took in the sight of my scuffed hair, the bruise blossoming on Alex's cheek, the plastic quiver slung over Hearthstone's back, and Utgard-Loki's two black eyes. "You all got into a fight," Thought said.

"I single-handedly broke them up," Coach Thor said, puffing out his chest.

Memory inclined his head in acknowledgement. "You may leave, Coach Thor."

Coach Thor deflated like a balloon that had been popped. "Are you sure you don't need me here?"

"We need you in the cafeteria," Memory said smoothly.

"In case any more fights break out," Thought added.

Coach Thor grunted and left, looking a bit mollified. The door swung close and I felt my pulse quicken. "Why did the fight begin?" Thought asked.

Alex, Utgard-Loki, and Mallory all jumped in at once, trying to speak over each other. Memory raised one palm and his glare silenced them. "You will speak one at a time. I want to hear from each of you. No interrupting. Alex, you can go first."

"This jerk over here," Alex said, featuring towards Utgard-Loki was making fun of my boy — Magnus. In gym class earlier today, he stole Magnus' clothes and threw them in the toilet. At lunch, he was making fun of Magnus' outfit and he started calling him names and stuff, so I decided he needed to shut his mouth."

Memory nodded. I'd heard the two assistant principals had photographic memory, which made the whole thing more unnerving. "Utgard-Loki, you can go now."

"I didn't steal Magnus' clothes," Utgard-Loki began. He hung them up over the bathroom door and they fell on my end so I tried to throw them to him. It's not my fault they ended up in the toilet. I shouldn't have thrown it — I'll admit it. I should've known he wouldn't catch it considering how unathletic Magnus is."

       Memory frowned slightly and Utgard-Loki added, "honestly, it was a mistake."

      "There was no mistake when you taunted Magnus  today," Mallory retorted.

    Alex nodded. "He said the f-word."

   "You say the f-word all the time," Utgard-Loki said. "You cuss like a sailor, so don't lecture me on what words I can and cannot use."

    "Yeah, I cuss," Alex said, "but I don't insult people and I say the f-bomb — not homophobic slurs."

       Memory turned to me. "Magnus, do you remember Utgard-Loki saying any slurs?"

    I frowned and shook my head. "I kinda froze mentally after awhile," I said. "I don't really remember what happened."

     "See?" Utgard-Loki said. "Magnus doesn't recall me saying any slurs. Alex is just making things up."

     "I heard them too," TJ said.

      "And I," Blitzen added.

      My friends all nodded in assent except Hearthstone who signed, "I didn't hear, but it makes sense that Magnus might not remember everything. His mind is trying to protect them."

      "So now you're a psychologist?" Utgard-Loki sneered.

    Blitzen had been signing the entire conversation for Hearthstone to understand, but he didn't need any sign language to see the contempt on that bully's face. "Well, you sure wouldn't be a good one because you have the empathy of a Lindworm!" Blitzen retorted.

"Enough!" Thought said. "We are going to speak to you now each individually. Magnus, you first. Come into my office."

Memory swept his gaze over my friends and Utgard-Loki's posse. "I'll call in Sif to watch them," he decided.

I followed Thought into his office. It looked like a cross between a library and something out of an Edgar Allen Poe poem. Thought took a seat in his plush, dark red, velvet armchair. I sank down, opposite of him, onto a (less comfortable looking but equally dark red) non-velvet chair. Thought's office was fairly sparse in decorations. The walls were a pitch-grey color. The desk was immaculately organized with folders and a black marble bust of a raven. I saw Thought pulling out a notebook and ball-point pen.

      He studied me like you might study a primary source for a Mini Q. It was a little unnerving. "So Magnus Chase," he said. "What happened?"

    I recounted the gym class fiasco, how my friends loaned me their clothes, and Utgard-Loki's response at lunch. "So he came up to you?" Thought asked. "You didn't say anything to him first."

    I shook my head. Thought asked me further questions about the incident. Finally, he folded his hands over each other, and leaned forward over his desk. "Mr. Chase, have things like this happened to you before?"

     "Not regularly at this school," I answered, "but fairly often at past places."

    Thought nodded and jotted something down. "Have you ever thought about seeing a counselor, Mr. Chase?"

      "I talked to the school counselors in middle school and they weren't helpful," I said flatly. "They made it worse."

     Thought's gaze didn't waver for a second. "You should consider seeing a licensed therapist. I'll email your mother some information and here" — he handed me a flier "that should give you some insight. You're not alone, Magnus. Many people have been bullied."

    "I thought I was the only one," I said sarcastically.

      I might have imagined it, but I thought I saw Thought give a tiny eye roll. "You young ones and your sarcasm," he said. "You're not in trouble, Magnus. It seems clear you really were not part of the fight, but your friends were and I'm going to have to punish them."

     "No!" I said. "Please, they only did it to help me."

     Thought regarded me. "I cannot tolerate violence at school — even if it was done to combat bullying. The end doesn't justify the means, Mr. Chase."

    "Please," I tried. "Please, you can punish me but don't punish them."

    Thought tilted his head slightly. "I could lessen their sentences, but you'd all still have OSS," he said. "Three days of it starting tomorrow. This would be instead of five days. Is that fair to you?"

    I nodded. It wasn't perfect, but I couldn't let my friends take all the blame for sticking up for me. "You're a remarkable young man," Thought said. "Goodbye Magnus Chase."

     This ended the weirdest interview ever.