Valhalla High (A Magnus Chase Fanfic)

It's All For The Memes

January 19

    We were studying the amendment process in my US Constitution class. Our teacher, Forseti Ford, was a former judge who retired after fifteen years and became a teacher. He was the most chill judge I had ever met. He let us call him by his first name and wore a button-down black shirt and slacks. His black necktie was covered in images of golden axes.

The class was fairly laid back. Forseti sometimes lectured us, but a lot of the times he let us do our own things. He spent the first fifteen minutes of this class explaining how the framers of the Constitution created a way for the document itself to be changed. "However, these amendments are not easily ratified," he said.

He went on to explain the required two-thirds majority for ratifying amendments and how this meant our Constitution didn't radically change every election cycle. "For your project this week," he said, "I want you guys to research failed amendments. Choose one and make a presentation about it where you argue whether it should have been passed or not."

With that, he let us loose. I took out my Chromebook and typed in "failed amendments" on Google. I found a Wikipedia page and scrolled through it, hoping to find something interesting. There were many choices: a ban on duels for those in federal office, an amendment to allow unmarried women to vote, the abolishment of the army and navy, the requiring of a national referendum to go to war, and an amendment putting a bar on how much a person could earn, as well as others. I decided to do my project on the duel ban for holders of federal office.

       Apparently, it was proposed after a congressman was killed in a duel. I did some research on duels and they seemed to me to be the 18th and 19th century equivalent of a fist fight — only more dangerous. I remembered how in middle school, these two guys in my class got into a fight over a cheerleader (which was stupid because she was into tumbling and handstands — not dating). Apparently, they were fighting because one of the guys had been paired up with her for a class project and the other was jealous. He challenged the other guy to a fight.

      The teachers found out about it and told them that they were under no circumstances allowed to do that. The boys circumvented the rules meeting that afternoon at a park. A lot of people came to watch them, someone recorded a video, and it blew up online. Since the kids had fought off school property, the administration couldn't punish them for that. However, the two boys were punished for the suggestion of violence on school grounds with a day of in-school suspension. Neither of them ever dated the girl.

    I decided that could work as an interesting real-life example that I could contrast with the duel amendment. In both instances, fighting was barred in a certain area, so the combatants decided to fight somewhere else. Both fights had been as much or more about honor as anything else and in both instances, authorities tried to punish the doers by saying you couldn't plan violence on their grounds.

I got started on my Google Slides and worked on it until the end of class. When the bell rang, I went to AP History. We were learning about the Age of Imperialism. "There was once a saying that the sun never sets on the British empire," Odin said. "We Americans like to think our revolution caused a massive commotion in England, but that is not the case. England became an even larger empire, expanding into Africa, Asia, and Oceania."

Mallory snorted and I heard her muttering under her breath, "Bold of them to assume they can conquer the world when they cannot conquer Ireland."

I had a feeling we'd be hearing some more Irish nationalism at lunch. I wasn't wrong. After doing a practice exam in AP Calculus, we found an empty table to sit down at for lunch. "And so my great-grandfather fought in the Irish war for independence," Mallory said, finishing a long-winded retelling of her family's fight for Irish independence (starting in the 1500s with a Gaelic ancestor who fought against British occupation).

     "You're really proud of your family," Halfborn said.

     "Why shouldn't I be?" Mallory responded.

     Halfborn raised one palm, trying to pacify her. "Nothing wrong with it. I'm proud of my family. I have Viking ancestors."

     "Me too," I said. "My mother told me our ancestors were Swedish royalty."

    "My ancestors traded with the Vikings," Sam said. "Some were diplomats and others became advisors to chieftains and kings."

    "My grandfather comes from a long line of Aztec warriors," Alex said, "he used to tell me stories of the Aztec gods."

     "My great-grandmother was a slave," TJ said, "one of them who recorded her story when FDR was collecting them. You can still listen to it today."

    "I'm not going to get into detail about my mother," Blitzen said, "but my father was really big in unions when he was younger."

    "You all have interesting families," Jack said. "I'm pretty sure I'm the only interesting person in my family. My family has been repairmen going back generations."

      I patted Jack on the back. "So your ancestors were repairing all the things our ancestors broke."

    Jack smiled. "I can see why your ancestors weren't all killed off."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" I asked.

Jack made a face. "A compliment obviously. You said your ancestors were Swedish kings and if they were anything like you, they were charismatic leaders and not—"

"Mark Zuckerburg?" Halfborn suggested.

"I was going to say Joseph Stalin," Jack said.

"Yeah, my charismatic boyfriend is nothing like either of them," Alex said. "For one, he has basic empathy—"

"Basic?" I protested.

Alex bopped me on the nose. "And secondly, I don't think either Stalin or Zuckerberg has as good a meme collection."

"Ahh, so that's why you're dating me," I said. "It's the memes."

Alex nodded, keeping her face straight. "Exactly. It's all for the memes."

Sam facepalmed and I swear I heard her mutter, "Why am I friends with these people?"

I couldn't help smiling. Sure, we were goofy, but what's life without a healthy serving of humor?