Not Ready To Hate You

ᕼOᒪᗪIᑎG Oᑎ

Rocky walking inside Moonbin room and said "Are you sure you gonna do this?" Rocky asking his brother as he is very worry about him. "I'm sure, I'm fine. Sooner it will past" Moonbin said while his tears drop to the ground. "But it seem like you don't looking that fine. If you miss him why don't you see him" Rocky said further while placing his hand over his brother shoulder meant to help lifting his brother mood up. Letting him know, he is always by his side. "Don't say like it that easy, how can I do that?" Moonbin further reply back with shaken voice that he can't hide. "Do you think that I don't know what you are doing?" Rocky sentence make Moonbin raising his face from the ground with shocking expression. "You know?" Moonbin asking further. "It not that hard actually, you probably worrying about him. I know you've come to his house and see him frequently after you decided to leave him alone" Rocky said Moonbin action that he can't control himself from it.

Moonbin quite for a moment until Rocky said further "Why do you have to acting like thing get hard all the time, I'm your brother. I just can't seeing you running around and worry about someone you telling me to abandoned. Your action is not match with what you have said to me. Why you have to act something you don't want to? Doesn't it feel pain?" Rocky said while telling his brother to following his heart. "Pain?.... Of course I feel it. I feel it with all my heart. It feel like my heart is ripping out into several unconnected pieces. No matter how much I try to gluing it up, it still never be the same heart I use before" Moonbin said while he is wiping out his tears from his eyes. "If leaving him causing you to be broken down like this, why don't you holding him tightly. Cause you see now when you not holding him tightly, not only you who broken down. He also feeling the same way as you. Am I right?" Rocky further explain his point of view toward love.

"It's too late, everything is scatter down into several pieces. It will never be the same as before. No matter what I do, nothing going to be change" Moonbin said further with his emotional mood. "Why don't you think it was good that you realizing it now, better than later. If it making you feeling down like this, then stop it. Why do you have to force yourself and doing such thing that it is not you at all. Following your heart. If it say you missing him, then running to him and telling him. I think he might waiting for you" Rocky said meant to cheering his brother up. "But MJ seem don't understanding it" Moonbin said while still in the same mood. "Don't worry about other people thought, you should clearing what on your mind. Talking to yourself and listening to it. What does it really want from you. Doing what you thing is right? It can be wrong to other people eyes but if your heart said it right. You can be sure that in the end you will not end up having a regrets on" Rocky said something over his age and that make Moonbin trying to clearing his mind and ask himself again, that it he really doing something that he will not regret in the future. Rocky leave the room and left Moonbin talking to himself and decided whether what next he going to do.

At Eunwoo room,

He has been making himself better from before but what worsen down is that, he probably never smile ever again after Moonbin leaving his world. It just so damn hard for him to smile that brightly right now when Moonbin is not here by his side. He also playing one song all the time inside his room, reminding himself of his past love that was bittersweet. He trying to accept it cause he can't dreaming that someday Moonbin going to coming back for him. The song name as LOSING YOU BY WONHO ( I also provided the music at the top, for better mood please open the song and reading along )

Eunwoo make himself out of the bed and grabbing his phone at his side desk. He using his fingerprint to scanning into his own phone. He then further open his music application and search 'Losing you - WONHO' and the song popping up in his phone screen. He then click the play button, turning the volume up and listening to it. He laying himself on his bed and embrace every emotion from that. He always thinking like this to himself while listening to this song. Eunwoo just want Moonbin to hold him close, embracing him with love and caring, staying near him and walking to some bad shit together while still holding his hands tightly. All difficulties that happen he think it was the test that he need to get through, he wish in the end that the result will saying something to him. No one know the ending and no one know how it gonna end.

'Cause losing me is better than losing you' the song end. Eunwoo further going to his phone and about to click the replay button until he saying something to himself "I have never thought it gonna happen and it will really happen. But it actually happen" he finally stop speaking for a moment. He sigh before speaking another sentence "Finally, I'm losing you" he said to himself alone in his room. Losing someone without having a chance to even catching his hands is somehow even more pain. When you see something that you can do but you can't do at that time, it was too late to do that. Moonbin already decided in his mind that he going to leave, nothing can change his mind even though Eunwoo trying to begging for pardon. But Moonbin seem to not care about it.

Why do they have to choose the decision that both of them will ending up sadly in the future? If we actually know how it going to happen in the future and we also knowing that it will cause us many pain why do we still walking in that way, is it because it the right way to go through?

This is the second boy love story that I write. If you want to read more about my story. I also finish my first book name "The Best of Me" you can read further if you like. I'm trying so hard to writing this story so please supporting me and if you have any comments or any suggestions, don't hesitate to let me know by chatting with me. I will be online as much as possible to read your suggestions. Thank you so much for your time reading my story. I hope you enjoy. See you next episode.