Not Ready To Hate You

ᖇEᗩᒪIᘔEᗪ

Rocky and Sanha were still chitchatting through application they have, they still being friend right now. Even though they don't care about that kind of thing their older brother were considering about but they just can't moving on from this status. "How about you? Are you fine right now?" Rocky texting Sanha as he asking him probably every day after they don't see each other. "I'm fine, I'm just worrying about my brother" Sanha texting him back with the sad emoji at the end of the message. "Is he seem better form where we have a last conversation" Rocky asking further, may be this update might be the thing Moonbin want to know the most but he can't asking him directly. "He seem better, but..." Sanha text but still thinking in his mind and just don't know how to said. "He seem better, but I have never seen him smile since that day" Sanha finally press the sending button.

Rocky sigh after reading that message and thinking that may be this update might be better if Moonbin doesn't know about it. "I don't know what to do either, I can't seeing him like this anymore" Rocky texting Sanha back,without talking directly face to face to one another, this sentence still make it easy to understand how the writer want to interpret. It just the emotion that people usually having such a mutual understanding of what does it mean with out saying or screaming it out loud. "I can't bared myself seeing him like this too, it seem that he really love Moonbin" Sanha reply to Rocky message. "Their love are mutual for one another, they feel the same way for one another. And it hard to find such a coincidence like this in real life" Rocky reply as Moonbin also broken down like what happen to Eunwoo also. "I just wish one day, something will change" Rocky reply Sanha message again. "That the only thing we can counting for, there no other way around. Just wishing upon the star and let their love become real someday" Sanha sending the text further. After that their chitchatting is end for this day.

At MJ room,

MJ feel bad about himself as the day advanced, as he the reason for all of this to happen but he just can't accept what has been going on. He can't tell what happen to him, he can't control his feeling and he always feeling bad of letting all of them down. He confusing of what is happening with him right now. He feel very lonely as he not seeing Jinjin sleeping aside him. No one complimented the dishes he made anymore. No one ever smile to him that brightly as Jinjin does. Put all the blanket to him without worrying about himself, that he will catch a cold. Jinjin probably doing everything to keep the one he love comfortable, and the reason he decided to leave is probably because of he doesn't want MJ to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable while he still presenting. All the delicate things Jinjin does still keeping MJ thinking about him wherever he walk in his house, there a good memories of him with Jinjin all around.

Thinking of these thing, it make his heart ache every time. Even he still don't know the reason why. He usually forget things when the day pass, and that the nature of life. But he don't know why, the memory of Jinjin with him has been bury down to the most deepest layers of his heart. It never faded, as opposition he still having a clear and obvious picture of Jinjin eyes looking so damn gorgeous when caring about him, but later in his dream. He see Jinjin crying because of him. He also thinking to himself that why when he letting go of his friend hands with be this painful. He feel something is missing, he is not being himself since the day Jinjin gone. Whenever he go, there only the eye that looking at him as he is doing something wrong. It will not be hurt that much if that kind of eyes were coming from other strangers that don't know him well, but it all coming from his brother. That remind him of Jinjin, the one who never abandoned just a single sentence he speak, the one who always laughing at his joke even though it was the toughest joke he make.

'You can imagine when someone thinking that all your disadvantages you have were all the advantages that make him falling for you. Haven't you think how much he like you? How could we found such a person like that, and how lucky we are if him falling for you. You probably gonna be the most luckiest person in the world and I swear, everyone will envy you of course' MJ scrolling down his phone until he find this phrase which make him take a deep look. "I'm sorry I'm letting you down, Jinjin. I'm totally sorry" he said to himself. He used to be the one who everyone will be envy of. But looking to what he has been done to him, even he begging on his knees for a thousand time. Jinjin will never coming back for him anymore. Right now he realized how lately he were to see the important of  Jinjin to him.

MJ getting out of his bed and see the clock said it was 6:00 in the evening so he need to go out and buying something for his brother as a dinner. Even though no one usually interested in his food anymore. Eunwoo only consuming blood from what Sanha giving to him. He has been abandoned from his brother, but he still need to doing his duty.

He drive his car and finally reach the supermarket in the middle of the town. He locking his car and put the car key inside his right trouser pocket. He all wearing black to cover himself from the light. He walking to buying some veggies, fruit and meat for his brothers. He slowly have a glance at the pork cutlet, the first menu he did for Jinjin and his younger brother. His tears rolling down his face even he still don't know the exactly reason behind it. It keep coming down uncontrollably. He wiping it out and sooner realized. His heart were all soaked with his overwhelming tears that he keep thinking he is not falling for Jinjin. At the moment he realized, he falling for him for real.

MJ continue walking and thankful his tears is stopping. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hit you" a man with a black shoes said to apologize to a woman. MJ who was walking in other direction seeing someone looking quite familiar in his sense. Not so long, he finally realized that man from far away looking like Jinjin so he decided to calling him. "Jinjin" MJ said while waiting for that man to turn around. That man heard familiar voice but he have to keep it to himself, he decided to walking away without giving any response back. MJ get it right away that the man is Jinjin for sure so he run and grab his hand in time. As expected, he is Jinjin. Jinjin just can't help himself so he turn around and face MJ. Jinjin finally see his friend he love after the pass few months. Jinjin still mesmerizing in MJ appearance even though he might not look good enough. But he need to push that kind of emotion and feeling aside and focus on the reality in front of him.

This is the second boy love story that I write. If you want to read more about my story. I also finish my first book name "The Best of Me" you can read further if you like. I'm trying so hard to writing this story so please supporting me and if you have any comments or any suggestions, don't hesitate to let me know by chatting with me. I will be online as much as possible to read your suggestions. Thank you so much for your time reading my story. I hope you enjoy. See you next episode.