Heaven and Hell Start With the Same Letter (Frerard AU)

21

Everything moves around me in a blur. Sounds are a distant murmur, and thinking hurts too much, so I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. I stare at the plate of food in front of me, debating wether I'm hungry or not, but like I said, it's all too hard, and I give up before I can come up with an answer.

I feel something against my arm but I'm not entirely sure what. I turn around and see Gerard. I try to draw a conclusion on that, but all I can come up with is that he's a nice boy whom I share a room with.

"You should eat something, Frank."

And I would reply, but just deciphering what he said was too much for me, and I couldn't muster up enough energy to say something back. I face forward again, trying to decide whether I should eat the food again.

*

Gerard's POV

"Whatever the fuck you guys did to him, he won't talk! He won't respond! He won't do anything! Fix him!", I shout, tears threatening to fall at any moment.

The doctor just sighs, like this is just another day of work, and Frank is another patient to him. Which he might be, but he doesn't need to be so obvious about it.

"Look, it'll wear off in time, and he'll be back to normal soon."

"That's all you have to say?!"

He shrugs, and I'm just seconds away from punching him in the face. I clench my t shirt, trying to stop myself from screaming at that idiot doctor. I'm usually good at controlling my emotions, which is ironic considering I'm bi polar, but after years of therapy, I've gotten the hang of it. But when it comes to Frank, I can't control myself. If I could, we wouldn't be together, and I wouldn't be like this right now.

I unclench my fist, and walk back to my room, slamming the door. It was a little act of rebellion, stupid but whatever.

I walk in and see that Frank is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking out through the window.

"Why do they block the outside world from us?"

I blink, un able to process what's happening. Frank's talking, he's actually talking! I want to just run up to him and hug him, but I'm afraid of scaring him, so I just pretend like I'm not dying on the inside.

I walk over to sit next to him, looking out the window myself. Our rooms are a few floors off the ground, and the walls around the hospital are built so tall we can only really see the sky, and the distant view of the waterline, but that's it. There's no way of seeing the tiny houses, and roads, and cars, and people, and life outside of this hospital.

"Because that's what's hurting us, out there."

He turns to face me, and I look at him, finally letting my expression break. His face is still straight and I can't help but let a few tears fall. He looks like he wants to say something, but his mouth remains closed.

"I'm sorry, I just missed you."

He turns around, facing the window again. I wipe the tear away and turn around to look at it myself. The sky's grey, like it usually is. I can tell that there is a slight breeze from the tress' shaking branch down in the court yard.

"My heads been really foggy. It finally cleared up a little, and thinking and talking isn't as hard to do, but...I still feel...weird."

I sigh, "The doctors said it should wear off. Are you ok?"

"I feel like you should know that answer by now. It's not like they don't ask us that question every single day."

I let out a small chukle. He smiles too. Then all of a sudden, I feel my lips start to tremble and in a mater of seconds, im on my knees, crying my eyes out. They're not exactly silent, but they're not thunderstorms either. I was biting my tongue trying to stop but the tears just kept coming.

"W-what's wrong, Gerard? "

"I just thought I lost you.", I say through hiccups.

There's shuffling, and then he sitting next to me. He puts one arm around my shoulder, and lays his head against me. I slide my hand around his waiste, and pull him onto me, so that I'm straddling him. His eyes close, and soon, he's being pulled down by sleep.

"Don't worry, they'll have to do more to sepperate us.", he says tiredly.