Heaven and Hell Start With the Same Letter (Frerard AU)

13

Gerard's POV

I dab the cut on his arm from the metal bars. He flinches, but doesn't let out a sound. I grab the bandages, and slowly wrap them around his arms tightly. They weren't really deep, but they were long, and the metal was rusty, so I don't want to risk getting an infection.

"It took forever for me to convince the doctors that this was an accident, and for them to to let me do it myself.", I say, finishing wrapping up his arm.

He doesn't acknowledge my words, or move, or do anything. I let out a sigh, and put my hands in his, but they're limp, and cold against mine. I give it a squeeze, but he doesn't even flinch.

"Um, Frank, just...if...if you want me to go...I'll go. Just tell me, or do something, I'll leave you alone. You just have to ask.", I say.

Every thing is silent, and it's like I'm staring at a picture, because nothing's moving.

I stand up from where I was kneeling on the ground, so that I could be eye level with Frank who was on the bed, and throw the bloody napkin in the trash.

"I'll go."

As I'm walking out, all I want is for him to tell me to stay, pull me back into the cold, silent room. No one would want to go in there. It's filled with the stench of sweat and tears, if you could even imagine that, and it's so quiet. But I'd go in there, I'd never leave, because Franks in there, and that's all I'll ever need, but he doesn't stop me.

I wipe the tears off of my face, and shake my hands out, trying to get rid of the tension in them. I'm shaking like crazy, and all I want to do is curl up into a ball, with Franks's arms around me.

I let out a heavy sigh as I walk into the dayr room.

*

"Gerard?"

I slowly open my eyes and see the image in front of me. I'm curled up in a chair in the day room, but it's completely empty, well except for me and the nurse. I've never seen her face before. She looks quite young, only a year or so older than me.

She smiles, and straightens her form, "It's bed time, and you have to go back to your room."

I close my eyes, and lay my head back down, "I don't want to go back."

"But you have to."

"You don't understand, I can't."

I open my eyes and see her face, and she's frowning down at me.

"Why not?"

I sigh and push myself up into a sitting position. I pull down my sleeves so that its covering my hands, and the room suddenly feels much colder.

"Frank doesn't want to see me."

"He likes you the most though."

"I know, but he's really upset right now, and he wants to be alone."

She sits down next to me, "If there's anything I learned while working around people, it's that we never really want to be alone, especially in our most broken state. We push people away because we're afraid. We're already too broken, and we're scared that if we let people in, we'll brake even more. But I know you would never hurt Frank, and he knows it too, but the other side of him...the one that hears the voices, they're trying to convince him otherwise. He's scared, and he needs you."

I look at her, and I haven't seen a smile that genuine since I've gotten here form anyone but Frank.

"Are you new here?"

"Yeah. I'm actually your new nurse, Lindsey."

"You look really young."

She blushes, "Yeah. I just turned eighteen. My mom owns this place, and I just got my degree."