Heaven and Hell Start With the Same Letter (Frerard AU)

18

I had been good for a few weeks now. I hadn't had an episode, or any panic attacks, and I finally thought I was getting better. But it was coming back. I can feel myself getting mor anxious. I'm so afraid, and I don't even know what I'm afraid of.

I pick at the bandages on my arm. The wounds have healed, but there were still scabs. I continue to pick at it as I feel my breathing grow shorter.

"Gerard?", I breathe out, but he's not in the room.

Where could he be? Was he at his therapy session.

-No. He's leaving you. He already left. You're alone again, Frank. You're alone.-

*
Gerard's POV

The doctor waves me away. I stand up, and walk out of the room, starting the short walk back to where I left Frank an hour ago. I didn't like leaving him alone, especially on the days where I had my hour long sessions.

"Gerard!", I hear someone shout my name.

I turn around, surprised that for the first time, those words weren't from Franks mouth. Lindsey waves at me, and I walk over.

"Hey.", I say.

She waves, and sends me a flashy smile.

"How'd your session go?", she asks.

I shrug, "There all the same."

She laughs, even though nothing I said was really that funny. She's probably just trying to be nice to me.

"Uh, do you know when Frank has his next sessions?"

"Um, I think at eight tomorrow.", I say.

Frank is still waiting for me.

"Hey, I got to go. Frank's waiting for me back in the room, and I don't want him to get too worried or scared."

She sighs, "Does he get...freaked out a lot?"

I don't like it when the nurses call his episodes 'freaking out'. It's like they're mocking him, or making it seem like less of a problem.

"He just likes having someone familiar around him, you know? He doesn't like being somewhere he doesn't feel safe in, no one does, so he likes it when I'm around."

"Don't you get tired of it though? I mean, you're always having to sensor yourself around him, and be extra careful about every thing."

"I don't mind. Frank never tires me.", I say, suddenly getting a little defensive.

She sighs again, "Ok. I'll see you around then. Don't forget, lunch is in an hour."

I nod, "Ok. Bye."

As I'm walking back to my room, I feel my body being pulled closer to the ground. The hallway seems longer, and my room seems a little farther away. It's like my foot's stuck in quick sand, because I can't seem to move them. The room suddenly goes dark, and I feel the cold tile pressed against my cheek.

*

My heads pounding when I open my eyes, and the lights are blinding me as I sit up. I groan out.

"Hey.", someone says from besides me.

I turn to look at the source of the sound, and Lindsey is sitting on a chair that's pushed up against the wall. I look around the room, hoping to see someone else, but she's the only one there.

At least it's not one of the other nurses.

"Hey.", I say, smiling lightly.

"You passed out when you were walking back to your room. You hit your head pretty hard."