The Undetermined Outside

Chapter Sixteen

*Levi's POV*

How stupid can you be? No self respecting man would touch a women like that if she isn't previously committed to him. I had so many words to say to him, but it didn't feel like the right place so I held back. Inside I'm fuming, but they didn't need to see that.

"This home is quite refreshing. It's quiet here." I tried to say as nonchalantly as I could manage while perusing my former cadet's quarters. I looked over my shoulder and saw the two of them just watching me, probably nervous about what to do next. "How's your father doing, y/n?"

Her face lit up when I brought up the man that raised her. I'll have to keep that in mind.

"He's doing a little better. But his pain has been hard to manage overall. If I didn't have to check on him every so often I would probably be able to get more done around here, but I feel like I'm not giving the dogs the attention they deserve."

Oh yeah, the dogs. I had tried my best to ignore them. I'd never had a pet nor have I ever seen what the point of having one was. There are so many long haired beasts sniffing my pants that I can barely move through the room. I took my right hand out of my pocket and reached out to let it be sniffed.

One of the bigger fluffier dogs came over to smell my hand that I held out for him. After a couple of seconds of this he nuzzled his head against my palm. I started scratching his head and he really seemed to be enjoying it.

That was a good moment until I remembered that there were two people in the room with me. Y/n was watching me with a smile on her face. "That's Kanu. He's always been my hunting dog." She said while walking over to kneel behind her dog. She was crouched down beside him rubbing his back. "We've gone on so many adventures together, and I'm sure we'll be able to go on more in the next few weeks."

After she gave him some love, she stood back up and started walking towards the kitchen. "Do either of you want something to drink? I also made some cookies earlier today."

I looked over at Kirschtein and he didn't look like he wanted to say anything, let alone move a muscle. "Go wait outside, cadet. I need to talk to l/n." He scurried out of there with his imaginary tail still between his legs. Followed by a whole gaggle of dogs that seemed to sense when the door outside was about to open. After he shut the door, I turned myself to walk towards the kitchen where she was.

"I'll take some tea if you have any." I told her while following her. I hadn't realized how long her hair was until today. She had it tied up in a tight bun when she was in uniform. Her h/c swayed down her back with every step she took. She looked back over her shoulder at me with that same smile she wore when petting Kanu.

"Of course I have tea. Should I pull out the cookies?" She sweetly asked.

"Sure." I said quickly while I still had the ability to speak.

"Where did Jean go?"

"I think he went outside with the dogs. I think he may have shitted his pants too. Whatever, duty calls, right?" I replied without a second thought about how crass I sounded. I hope I don't sound like a jerk to-

I sat myself at the kitchen table and looked up at her in surprise. She was laughing. Y/n thought I was funny. Her laugh was robust as she grabbed her stomach to support herself. "Sorry, I shouldn't laugh at the thought, but he deserves to shit his pants. Thank you for taking him away finally." She said all that through her small giggles that were finally going away.

It's not often I hear people that aren't Erwin laugh at the things I say. Either from my lack of emotion when I say it or because they feel some sort of intimidation, or at least that's what Hange tells me.

Y/n was now standing at the stovetop heating up some water for us. I was feeling lighter than usual. This is a new sensation. What was this woman doing to me? I couldn't help but notice her curves. The way her hand rested on her hips made me think about how I want to grab hold of them. And the way her pants hugged her thighs, it made me want to try and slide them off. I can finally take the time to admit to myself that I see what Erwin saw in her.

She's definitely one of the most beautiful women I have been graced to meet. On top of that she's been nothing but delicate since I walked in. Maybe not with her words, but in her temperament. She was humming a song to herself and swaying just a little. No one is every this comfortable around me. I'm used to others getting really awkward and uncomfortable, but this is nice.

"It's my pleasure to rid you of him. Although, I have to admit, I'm not looking forward to bringing him back with me. I don't think he's very happy about it either." She chuckled at me again. The lightness I felt was ever more present. She turned to me and set down a few cups and a teapot, followed by a small plate with a few chocolate chip cookies.

She sat down on the side closest to me and slid one leg under her butt. "Honestly, I haven't felt this relaxed in months. It's nice to just be me and not be nervous about keeping up appearances." She grabbed her cup delicately and took a sip.

I followed suit. The tea wasn't very good, but this town is pretty small so I'm sure they don't get much variety coming through. "I guess that's a way you can look at it."

Her face was a little more solemn as she looked up at the stairs to the loft. "I have to think about the bright side sometimes. I worked my ass off to get to where I was, and now I had to trade in being a Scout to take care of my dad." I followed her eyes as she looked over to me, "I've always aimed to be the strongest, but here I am having tea with Humanities Strongest and I feel so inferior."

I didn't know what to say to her. I hate that nickname, but now was not the right time to tell her that. She looks so defeated. I want to rest my hand on hers, put my hand back on her shoulder, or just straight up kiss her.

Stop. It. Brain.

"Being the strongest doesn't mean anything if you can't keep everyone alive." I said to her with no hint of my real feelings. I reached over for a cookie, even though I don't care for desserts. Taking a bite out of the cookie and continuing, "As far as I'm concerned, seeing you give up on your dream to come and take care of your father, is stronger than anything I've ever done."

"I highly doubt that." She said with that same smile returning. I don't know how to explain these feelings. I haven't felt like this before. But, now, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable with the fluttering I felt in the pit of my stomach.

I stood up quickly, tired of all my thoughts that keep going all over the place. "Thank you for the tea, but I think it's time for me and the cadet to head back to the castle." I couldn't make eye contact with her and it made me so mad at myself. But I can't let myself feel.

"That's fine. I wish you all  good luck on the expedition. Don't train them too hard." She escorted me to the front door. Once opened I saw the tall male petting his horse.

"We're out, Kirschtein. Grab whatever you brought with you and make it quick." He literally ran past me into the house. Y/n was sitting on top of the fence petting her steed that we had to take back with us. I was still feeling nervous, but I felt like I needed to say something. "We'll take good care of your horse." That was dumb.

"Thank you." Was all she said back as I hopped onto mine. She handed me the reins to hers and I made sure to tie it tightly.

As soon as Jean got back outside with his knapsack he hopped on and waved at y/n. Apparently still too afraid of what I might say to even speak to her. I guess he can learn.

As we started down the road I looked back at the l/n residence and the gorgeous woman that stood outside it. She's waving us off while the dogs are walking alongside the horses. She calls them back and I feel that lightness disappear the further I leave that place behind me.