The Undetermined Outside

Chapter Twenty Six

* y/n POV*

Levi left really quickly which makes me sad; I love talking to him. But at least I have Armin here. He's been showing me this book that he found in one of the offices at the castle. It's about a continent that used to exist called Asia. The current story he's learning about is not very interesting to me, but he seems smitten so I am trying to keep my attention on him and his pages.

I looked over my shoulder to see Levi sitting alone at the table he and all the higher ups originally had sat at. Armin looked over his shoulder too and mentioned, "You and the captain seem like you already know each other. How'd that happen?"

I looked back at Armin as I felt myself begin to blush a little thinking about the special treatment I had received only a few days ago. How do I tell my best friend that he had come to visit me and that he'd given me gifts? Or how we had talked about love? Or that he had brought my ODM gear to my house? We talk about everything together but I don't want him to take it the wrong way.

"He came to check on me and my dad before. Just to make sure we were getting on okay." I looked down into my glass as I swirled the contents, trying to decide what else I can say without being misinterpreted, "He talked to Dad for quite some time and I was the one that asked him if I could come back."

"But you had an out! You were free from this hell, and you asked to come back? Are you as insane as Eren?"

I scoffed at my best friend, "Ouch! That was a low blow. No one is as insane about this stuff as him and you know it. I just wanted to do more. I've already gotten a taste of what there is for me in the Survey Corps in Trost. And, on top of that, I'd miss you too much." I softly spoke that last sentence and decided now would be a good time to sugar coat the situation so he didn't get mad at me. I've been doing to that to all those that I care about recently.

I proceeded to grab his bicep with my right arm and link it with my own. Then I rested my head on his super comfortable shoulder. This was my happy place, but also a trick I had learned over the years to keep him from getting frustrated. Win-win in my book.

The sigh he released seemed to come from deep within as he processed my words to him. I know that he was never really sure about joining the army, let alone the Scouts, but I hope he realizes how much of an anchor his presence has been for our group. When I felt like I was going to lose my shit over something, he was always there to help me rationalize my thought process and to counsel me back to normalcy.

I decided to tell him some of my thoughts, knowing that he's probably thinking too hard about it all right now, "You deserve so much more than this. Your mind is so valuable and I hope it gets used on our expeditions. You're too smart to be my friend for one. For two, you're too kind to be killing monsters. But, I appreciate having you around to keep me safe and sane." I nudged my cheek a little more into his shoulder as my own form of affection.

I felt him sigh again, but softer. He set his book down with it's marker holding his place. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, him bring his right elbow up onto the table and rest his head on his fist, looking at me. "I hope you realize that you deserve the world, y/n. You deserve all the adventure and a life of excitement. I just hope that we don't hold you back." He sweetly gazed at me from mere inches away.

"How could any of you hold me back?"

"You're a strong-willed and courageous woman that doesn't need to be slowed down by my meek temperament. Then there's Eren's agenda, it's one-tracked and I don't want you to believe that that's all there is to life; killing titans. And Mikasa, well, she's usually focused on Eren, but I worry that you'll want to compete with her to be the second strongest, after the Captain of course."