Broken By A Savage: Her Pain, His Healing

Chapter 13

Amber's- You Make Me Want to...

I stood there at Ms. Nicki's door in utter shock starring at my dad. After I stormed off from the hospital I found myself here. I much as I wanted to stand my ground and be mad I couldn't. I needed my daddy in between the argument with Jessica I just needed my daddy to hold me while I cry, but those thoughts quickly wash away as I recall him hitting me. I know I was being disrespectful but damn. Aren't I allowed to feel a certain type of way? I was beyond pissed at him. I do regret the things I said to him though, but my pride won't let me tell him how sorry I am. I took in his appearance he looked like he hadn't been asleep in days.

"I'm sorry." I didn't have much to say I just wanted things so seem somewhat normal again.

"I want to apologize for hitting you. After you left the house I started to think about how I have caused so many problems for everybody. I wish I can take it back but I can't. I was dead ass wrong for keeping you and Jessica apart it just made things worse. I'm tired of putting the blame on everyone else. Baby girl I need you to come home and forgive me it's to quite there. I fucked up with you and Jessica, I'm just trying to fix this mess I made. I'm sorry."

"So she wasn't lying?"

"No she wasn't. I was going to tell you before with your mom, but she left and I didn't know how to go about it."

"That's nice, but sorry doesn't help. Jessica hates me now she feels as if you choose me instead of her. I don't know if our friendship will ever be the same. I forgive you but I can't come home if you're going to keep drinking."

"Ok I can do that. I need you to tell me where you've been for the last few days Amber."

"I've been staying with Andre"

"Andre."

"Daddy hasn't tried anything. Don't you trust me enough by now? Honestly when you can't like this you make me want to act out. Why not go out and do what you accuse me of if you're just going to punish me for it anyway?"

"Baby girl I trust you, but you're really emotional right now. I don't want you your do what I did and make a decision that can cause you the rest of your life."

"Daddy trust me I won't." I looked at my dad in the eyes and I allowed a lie to slip through my lips.

"Whether he's your father or not no man should put his hands on you." I couldn't speak I just looked at him as tears rolled down my face. I guess he got tired of waiting for me to say something. The closer he got the harder I found it to control myself. I couldn't sit still. With his eyes staring directly into mine he stared into the deepest parts of my soul. There was no fronting about anything at his point. /he could see right through me. The moment his lips touched mine it was like volcanic eruptions. My body felt as if it was on fire. For only a moment his kissed me passionately allowing his fingers to become tangled in my hair, but his demeanor quickly changed and he was devouring me.

Pulling away I sat their trying to find a way to explain myself. From the moment I stepped through the door I never once considered that things might take this route. I mean for god sakes I went from crying my eyes out to grinding in his lap.

"I' sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Don't apologize. I want to it's just...It's been a minute." I dint have the balls to tell him that I'd never had sex before. It couldn't be that hard right? I mean I've come pretty close before but I never went through with it.

"I'm won't be mad if you're not ready. Look you have a lot on your mind it's probably best if we don't." softly he hit my thigh signaling for me to get up. A soft kiss on my forehead and he made his way out of the room. He stood at the door for a minute looking back at me. I was sitting on my knees at the edge of my bed trying to figure out what was I doing. His tough teased his lips as he smiled closing the door behind him he walked out of the room.