The Perfect Date

so much for our happy ending

Jade's

It's been seven days Jade, I'm flying tomorrow and I'm still waiting for you baba. I don't know if you're listening to these voice memos but  HATCHI NO sorry that's my dog, he's trying to reach the things anyway, I miss you, Jade. I'm still waiting, just text me if you change your mind. I adore you.

"Another voice memo huh?" Leigh chuckled and placed a cup of coffee in front of me, I just nod. In the last seven days, Perrie keeps on sending me these voice memos to update me on what's happening in her life. I listened to all of them but I think this is the right decision. We just met like what? A month ago? I don't think that's enough time to get to know each other and you know be girlfriends but we tried. It just doesn't work out. That's normal.

"She's flying tomorrow to the US, that's okay with you?" She quirked a brow and took a sip from her coffee. Every morning Leigh will convince me to meet and talk to Perrie and she's doing it again. Perrie will have a bright future in the US and I think she should go for it, it's what best for both of us, "She'll be the most beautiful model, Leigh she deserves that. I don't want to be the one who's holding her back" I shrugged. 

"Eh, I don't think so" She flipped her hair, "You're deciding for both of you and she's so into you" I looked at her, shaking my head. She's too pushy and acts as a matchmaker, if it's not for her I wouldn't meet Perrie and I will not be heartbroken.

"Just try and talk to her for the last time, Jade she deserves closure not making out in the cab and a french exit" She confidently said and walked away. I pouted, if I'm going to meet her then what will I say? I'm sorry for sucking your tongue last week I got carried away?

I finished my coffee and walked back to my room since I don't have a job. What should I do today? That's right, I'm going to cry my eyes out like any other day. I'm such a coward, I know but I'm just. I don't know. I lost my trust in her, I'm always thinking that she'll just play with me. Fuck. I overthink things and it's so unhealthy.

Jade, this is Perrie hi. You uhm forget to say goodbye to me last night, I just woke up and I already missed you. My bed looks so big that I'm thinking of getting a single-sized bed instead but I know it'll still feel big because you're not here. Gosh, it's so early for my cheesiness. Just text me if you want to meet again. I adore you, Jade.

That's the first thing that I listened to when I woke up after that night. Hearing her muffled sobs through the phone and not having the chance to comfort her is heartbreaking. Her voice breaking, trying so hard not to cry will never leave my mind. It's carved in there. 

I'm such a coward, I don't deserve her or any of her feelings. She's better off in the US, she'll do great instead of staying by my side. I will just bring her down with me, like right now. A twenty-five-year-old woman staying in her house, with no job, and is on her second breakdown of the day that's what I am. I can't wait to see her on the cover of magazines and watch her interviews. Maybe, after spending some time apart I can be a better person for her. Not like this. I'll try to be better. 

Perrie's

I looked outside and watched the cars passed by. It's been seven agonizing days and I can't wait to see her again, hopefully. I don't know why she just left, I know I shouldn't have sleep and assumed that she'll lay and cuddle me all night but I understand. I'll try to understand even though she doesn't tell me anything. Even though she's giving me mixed signals. I thought that us kissing again is something then she immediately stepped on my hopes by leaving my drunk self alone in my flat. 

"Did Miss Good kisser answer yet?" Jesy asked and placed a latte in front of me. In the last seven days all I did was hang out in Jesy's coffeeshop and get free coffee and how can I say no to coffee? "I'm feeling bad for you" She mumbled and handed me a yellow sticky note with a wide grin on her face.