Ablaze |Season 2| (Under Revision)

Chapter 70

OCTAVIA

IS IT ME? Am I... her ex?

Their words keeps on ringing in my ears like a broken disc. Their expression, interactions, and even the words they told me keeps on flashing into my mind, making me realize everything that has been happening all along.  

I remembered Ferish telling me that her ex left her... because she died. I went into a tragedy that caused the loss of my memories. Zeri told me that Haji was my lover. He told me that I will certainly use my real surname soon.

Am I... married to Ferish?

Mabilis na hinawakan ko ang kwintas na suot ko at tinignan iyon. The intricate pattern is the same as the symbol. There's initials carved in it.

My head suddenly throbbed in pain. I shut my eyes close and violent flashes of someone's red eyes repeatedly showed into my mind like it only happened yesterday. That is why everything feels so familiar with her. That is why she seems like she knows me for all these time, because she really does.

My heart... it hurts.

My heart is clenching in a familiar way. It is in pain. As if the exhaustion for the whole day isn't enough, the realizations made it worse, knowing that the girl I love most has been in pain because of me... for all these time.

I thought I couldn't shed another tear because I had enough, but I was wrong. The truth shattered my already crushed heart even more. How can the fate be so merciless against us? Why do I have to learn of all these, now that everything went down the hill?

My tears automatically poured with the realizations hitting my mind. I finally found the answers that I am seeking for, and it is not amusing. The truth is much tormenting than the lies and secrets they kept from me.

If we were actually lovers, then I cannot imagine the agony that Ferish went through... just to pretend that she does not know me.

That is why she's always standing up against me, because she wants to get my attention. That is why she's always there with me even if I didn't like it. That is why there's rage in those eyes every time she sees me with someone else, because it actually makes her jealous. I didn't assume things that we're mutual because we are. That is why... she is beyond willing to hurt anyone who causes pain to me. That is why the color of her beautiful eyes does not seem to be natural because she is the one who's wearing contact lenses.

I cannot comprehend why did she have to go all through these just for me who cannot remember anything? She is the most important part of that memory... yet I forgot her.

The most important, yet no one told me about her.

"W-why did you endure..." I gathered my strength, but I couldn't finish my sentence because the mere thought of it is already painful. I sobbed like a helpless child.

She must've been in so much pain every time she sees me. Me, who cannot remember her. She must've been longing to love me. That is why her eyes always stares at me with pure longing, because it is really me who put her in that torment.

We were in Greece, but she followed me here in the Philippines.

She's been loving me longer than what I expected.

"Octavia, anak--- what happened? Why are you crying?" My mom automatically hugged me when saw that I am crying inside my room. I melted into her arms and hugged her tight to cry even more.

I feel so pathetic. I feel like a kid who's crying, but I cannot help myself. My mom's warmth bring so much comfort in me. She gently caressed my back until I calmed down. She held me with gentleness and wiped my tears to make me feel better.