Thicker than Water (Marauders Era) PART II

20 June, 1996 - Dreams

Lavinia was utterly drained when she collapsed into bed that night, the clock reading far earlier than it normally did when she turned in for the day. But tonight... Merlin, she was exhausted. Her chest felt like it had been hollowed out, like her tears had taken something more than just water and salt with them and left her with an ache that was almost... well, almost better somehow. Like she had sapped the storm of her grief from her head and her heart and now.... Calm was the wrong word, because Lavinia felt more empty than calm, but at least there wasn't a hurricane inside of her anymore and she supposed she ought to be grateful for that much.

Not that gratitude was the default response to anything to do with Sirius these days, but she tried. As she curled up in bed and tucked her hands under her head, she tried. Because whether she liked it or not, whether it was good or not, it was progress. And if there was one thing Sirius had always been absolutely insistent on, it was that she give herself credit for the progress she made. No matter how small those forward steps seemed to be.

Lavinia's mind rose to consciousness who knew how many hours later and was reasonably certain that she should have pulled herself together and just gotten up because she had things to do that couldn't be put off. But even so, she didn't immediately move. It was too comfortable here.

The bed was warm. His arms were warm. They always were, of course, because it never mattered how cold the world might be when she was here. Because here she was safe. Here she was loved. And that was a sort of warmth that made any silly concerns over temperature simply... disappear.

Lying there, blind to the world save for the knowledge of his presence at her back and his hand laced with hers, Lavinia had the vague sensation of having missed this. Not that she could imagine why because this was how she always slept. Or... sometimes... slept? She wasn't entirely sure at the moment, but what she knew was that this wasn't new. This wasn't strange. This wasn't anything at all except... well. Perfect. And familiar. So she wasn't at all sure how missing this could possibly factor in. Which was why she decided to ignore that.

In fact, she would have liked to ignore just about everything except the feeling of lying here, safe and sound in the arms of the man she loved, but he, apparently, had other plans. Plans Lavinia wasn't entirely averse to seeing as how they started with a kiss on the back of her nose.

She smiled, a drowsy, dreamy expression, and rolled over so she was facing him, though she kept her eyes closed for a moment longer, savoring this feeling, this certainty that she was safe and loved and that nothing in the world could ever go wrong.

She heard a chuckle that made her core go warm and felt another kiss, this one on the tip of her nose. "Wake up, love," whispered those lips that had just left her skin, the breath from the words warm against her face.

Lavinia complied, blinking her eyes open, knowing what she would find when the drowsiness cleared from her vision. And indeed, her attention was immediately pinned by that level grey gaze that never failed to steady her: the rock in her stormy seas. A lifeline when the whole world fell away and left her drowning.

And again, Lavinia felt that odd, rather distant sensation of missing this. Missing those eyes. Missing this calm, sweet stare. Which was ridiculous, of course, because, of course, she woke up to these eyes. She lived with the person who possessed them. She could stare at them whenever she pleased.

"Hello, Vin," Sirius whispered, a grin spreading across his face that was beautiful and familiar and perfect.

"Hello, Sirius," she replied, the words inexplicably sticking in throat, her breath hitching and her chest going tight as they hung in the tiny stretch of air that was all that separated them. Lavinia blinked, confused as her inability to just... speak plainly. She was being ridiculous today, really and she didn't have the foggiest idea why.