Thicker than Water (Marauders Era) PART II

30 July, 1995 - Reset

Being back at home, in her house by the sea, was wildly relieving for Lavinia. It was like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Like she had reset to normal. And indeed, it was so nice to pretend everything was just as it had been for so many years, that it took Lavinia a rather long time to notice that the weight and the stress wasn't the only thing that was missing. And when she did notice... well she was already pretending everything was normal. So what was the harm in pretending that she didn't know what that quiet ache in her heart was? Which was foolish and she knew it, but foolish had never stopped her from running before.

Truly, the only upset from her forced normal was the first Order meeting, which was also the only time she had returned to the Black house only once since leaving. The occasion had somehow managed to be both very stressful and very boring all in one go. And in case Lavinia hadn't been sure of her decision before, she was by the time she left. Because Lavinia didn't miss the strange and slightly hard look Molly gave her for nearly the entire time she was there, nor did she miss the fact that the children were suspiciously calm about being left out. Which lavinia had had only one explanation for: they had found a way to involve themselves without their mother knowing. And that thought didn't sit well at all.

Lavinia spent the meeting doing her best to fly under the radar, praying no one else would look at her with that same stare Molly was sending her way. A stare that said she knew her secrets. Knew her mistakes. And condemned her for them. A stare that said that she was not welcome.

Thankfully, everyone was more focussed on Dumbledore and there were enough strangers around the table that no one paid much attention to her.The singule and rather embarrassing exception to this was when Kingsley Shacklebolt had shown up and Lavinia had pointed her wand at him without thinking, fully prepared to do something incredibly stupid before Dumbledore managed to explain that Kingsley was an Order member and was, at the moment, deflecting the investigation into Sirius as far away from Britain as he could manage.

Lavinia had muttered a hasty apology and attempted to ignore the flattered but very exasperated look Sirius had sent her way. She'd tried to kick him under the table, but had missed and instead hit some wizard called Mundungus Fletcher, who had let off a stream of swear words that had left Molly pink in the face and warning him that if he didn't keep his trap shut around her children, she'd never feed him again.

Mundungus had been very careful after that and Lavinia had gathered that Mundungus was a fan of free food and wasn't stupid enough to lose the chance at it. Lavinia had kept her head down and tried to look innocent, quietly pitying Mundungus because she now knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of Molly's temper. And it wasn't at all pleasant.

Barring that small commotion, however, the meeting had progressed rather uneventfully. People had been introduced, information had been shared and there was almost nothing new or shocking to report. Actually, the only thing of note that had come out of the event was the knowledge that the Dark Lord was looking for a prophecy that had apparently caused him to target Harry in the first place. To counter this, they would be arranging for Order members to guard it in the hopes of preventing it from falling into the wrong hands and inadvertently giving the Dark Lord an advantage.

Lavinia didn't suppose this changed much for her. Mostly because the whole point of her role in the Order was for her to be available at all times and to avoid suspicion as much as possible. Which pretty much ruled out guard duty. She'd do it, of course, if asked, but she frankly didn't expect to be. Her job would be to heal those who might get hurt as a result of it. And as for the news of Voldemort having a more concrete reason to target Harry... well it wasn't pleasant, that was for sure. But as he'd been targeting Harry for years now, it was far from shocking information and Lavinia had quietly tucked her fear away beneath the blanket of normal she'd started pressing down on herself as hard as she could.