Thicker than Water (Marauders Era) PART II

8 August, 1995 - Stars (II)

Sirius couldn't stop himself from staring. The world was big and wide and open and he didn't think the stars had ever been this beautiful, at least not to his eyes. And the woman standing next to him, watching him with a face suffused with something like joy... well he didn't think she'd ever been this beautiful either because... out. He was out. There were no walls around him, no ceiling over his head. No bars. No prison.

And Merlin, he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt free and this... this was because of her.

He hadn't believed it when she'd said those words. Had even wondered if she had somehow forgotten. If she had even realized what a slap in the face those words were. But then...

No one needs to know.

Like this was their little secret. Theirs to keep quiet. To share. Like old times.

And yet he still hadn't believed it. Not until she'd been pulling him right out the front door and offering him no warning save for a tightening of her hand before she spun on the spot and dragged him behind her into the crush of apparition.

And then... stars. Open fields and the rush of the waves in the distance and a cloudless sky with the full moon shining bright down on them and... free. For the first time in months and maybe years or even decades - he couldn't remember - he felt free. His heart was light and the world was open and unbarred and... and Merlin he had missed this.

He glanced then at Lavinia , who was smiling at him with such a brightness in her eyes. With a look that made her seem young and joyful and full of a light and...

And yes, he thought, smiling right back at her. He had very much missed this.

But the spell didn't last.

"I should have done this so much sooner," Lavinia murmured, her smile flickering slightly as her eyes sobered rather abruptly. "I don't know why I didn't."

Sirius sighed, some of that bright, wild joy slipping away from him. "Because you were being practical," he pointed out gently, hoping to smooth this over and return to that bright wild feeling in his heart that he had so missed this past while. "And smart," he added with a sardonic little smile. "And someone had to be."

She sniffed and shook her head, turning away to study the horizon. "I do that annoyingly often don't I?" And the tone of her voice, the slight fall of her shoulders, every little move of her body, every little line in her face, told Sirius that this conversation had just turned to something far heavier. Far darker. And, probably, far more important.

Sirius felt a weight settle into his chest at the realization, wishing that flash of happiness, of ease and normalcy, could have lasted. But of course, they had come here to talk. And they had come here to talk about Harry. So of course that was where her mind had gone, painful though the subject was.

"You do what you think is best," he countered softly, a resigned note slipping into the words that he hadn't at all intended to be there. "You always do. And that's what matters."

Lavinia didn't say anything for a long moment, didn't even look back at him as he watched the remains of her joy flicker and die, slipping off her face entirely. "Is it?" she asked quietly and the words were hollow, aching with a sort of pained uncertainly that made Sirius's heart slide further from his chest, slipping down past his feet and through the floor..

For a moment, he just blinked, admittedly slightly surprised. "Of course it is, Vin," he murmured, giving her hand a slight squeeze.

She sighed and looked back at him at long last, a pained little smile twisting her lips. "I'm not so sure it is," she admitted quietly.