Thicker than Water (Marauders Era) PART II

18 April, 1997 - Disappointment

Harry was exhausted when he headed up to his dormitory at the end of what felt like the longest day of his life. It was far earlier than he normally would have gone to bed, but he needed to get out, to go somewhere quiet and empty. Because even as he left, he could feel Ron, Hermione and Ginny's eyes on his back like a brand until he disappeared out of sight with the twisting staircase. It was a mercy, he decided, that none of them decided to follow him. Of course, it was a mercy he probably didn't deserve, but he was going to complain at the moment. Especially since Hermione had spent all night watching him like she was mere seconds from giving him a telling off and he didn't want to listen to it. He knew he'd fucked up. Badly, too. And since he already knew that, he didn't see why Hermione felt the need to beat him over the head with it.

He sighed and rubbed his brow. He wanted some peace and quiet. He wanted to figure out what the hell had just happened because he still didn't understand it. He'd thought the Half Blood Prince had been better than... that. It felt like a betrayal almost, that he had created such an awful, dark spell. Hermione would probably have told him he being was ridiculous because it was a book and he shouldn't have trusted it in the first place. Which was yet another reason to stay alone in his dorm. Neither she nor Ron had ever really understood the connection he'd felt with the Prince. So they couldn't understand this either.

So... silence. He wanted silence and solitude.

This was not, however, what he found when he pushed open the door.

Lavinia Selwyn was sitting on the trunk at the end of Ron's bed, her arms and legs crossed and her eyes pinned on him from the moment the door opened, their blue gaze sharp and unimpressed.

"What are you doing here?" The words were out of Harry's mouth before he realized that there was a very obvious reason why she was here.

Indeed, Lavinia merely raised a brow. "Well it was this or a Howler," she informed him cooly, her stare unwavering.

"A howler?" Harry asked blankly, his brain feeling stupid and slow and too damn tired to deal with any of this right now. He was exhausted. Physically, yes, but mostly mentally. He didn't have the energy to process any of this when he hadn't even processed the events of earlier today.

"Sent to your room, of course," she clarified, tipping her head very slightly. "No need to air the dirty laundry, so to speak. Molly was all for that solution," she added, an odd sort of grimace passing over her face. "But I find howlers... distasteful. So I volunteered to come instead."

"Mrs. Weasley knows?" Harry whispered, feeling something sick and cold pool in his core. He couldn't explain it, but somehow he felt infinitely worse knowing that Mrs. Weasley knew. Worse, even, then he had felt mere moments ago realizing that his godmother was here to tell him off. Because Mrs Weasley had always been so kind to Harry and it felt... well it felt like he was disappointing her. Like he'd proved himself unworthy of every good deed she'd ever done for him.

"Of course," Lavinia informed him, narrowing her eyes slightly, not a shred of pity in their sharp blue gaze. "You do realize this... incident... is grounds for expulsion, right? It's a miracle they're letting you stay at the school. Of course, credit for that goes to Dumbledore, but even if he's saving your ass, he could hardly tell Narcissa he was letting you off with nothing more than detention. Her son's barely alive for Merlin's sake and the only reason she isn't calling for blood is because she knows a proper investigation would result in some rather untoward activity coming to light."

"Right," Harry whispered, barely processing half of what she'd said. "Of course." Because the part of this little speech that he had actually managed to comprehend did make sense and yet... somehow it hadn't occurred to him that he should have been expelled for this. But he should have. Anyone else would have been. But Dumbledore... Dumbledore was sticking his neck out for Harry again. After he had told Harry to leave Malfoy alone. After everyone had told Harry to leave it be and now... That sick feeling slunk from Harry's stomach up his throat. Now he'd disappointed everyone. And, it seemed, most especially the woman currently watching him with a flat, quiet stare.