Thicker than Water (Marauders Era) PART II

29 August 1996 - Stay (II)

Lavinia spent the rest of the morning and the early afternoon simply sitting on the couch and trying to force herself to read the paper without much success. She was so tired, so worn down and so wrapped up in her own head that the text on the pages in front of her seemed to blur into incomprehension, the words turning into mere strings of letters. Meaningless and dreary and near impossible to focus on, much less riddle out or care about.

She was, therefore, almost glad when the knock sounded on the door, though admittedly, that relief was short lived when she remembered who this was bound to be. And indeed, she pulled open the door to find Tonks standing there, her jaw set, her bubblegum pink hair standing straight up on end, looking as though she thought she was marching into a warzone.

And had Remus been there, she might have been.

But as it was, Lavinia just sighed. "He's not here," she informed the other woman flatly.

Tonks blinked, some of the determination seeming to leak out of her. "What do you mean he's not here?" she demanded, frowning.

"I mean he's not here," Lavinia repeated. "He went for a walk."

Another blink. "Oh. Well, then I'll just wait for him to be back," she suggested a bit more brightly, shrugging like this was no big deal.

Lavinia sighed. "I wouldn't expect that to happen for another few hours at least," she admitted. If at all. But she shoved that thought aside. He would come home. He had promised to come home. And he of all people knew how much Lavinia needed him to keep that promise.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts with some difficulty, Lavinia was almost surprised to find Tonks still standing in font of her, looking rather annoyed. "But if you want," she continued, trying to cover up her slightly awkward pause by pushing the door wide and waving Tonks through, "I suppose you can come in. Tea?"

But the other woman didn't move. "He ran off, didn't he?" she demanded flatly, sounding disappointed if not particularly surprised.

Lavinia didn't answer immediately. Part of her wanted to say no, he hadn't. He had walked off, stepped back, and she had let him go because he needed time to himself. Time to breathe. Which was all true, but... well. Lavinia rather suspected that at least part of the reason he had stayed away so long was precisely because he didn't want to talk to Tonks. Perhaps he didn't even want to talk to Lavinia. And that... well, that was just about the same as running, something Lavinia knew from personal experience.

The silence stretched for a moment and Tonks narrowed her eyes, clearly trying to read the words Lavinia hadn't said and apparently coming to the conclusion that Remus had indeed run off.

"I told you you should have let me stay!" Tonks protested, throwing her hands up in apparent frustration. "I could have talked to him and now he's probably assuming the worst and I won't have the chance to correct him!"

Lavinia sighed again, shaking her head. She was too tired for this. Too tired to think straight. Too tired to argue. Too tired for all of it. "Maybe," she muttered with a shrug, rubbing her eyes like she could clear the sleepless night from them just by pressing hard enough.

"Maybe?" Tonks demanded incredulously. "What do you mean 'maybe?' You know as well as I do that he's off convincing himself I was terrified and I don't understand what I'm doing and can't cope or whatever other bullshit way he'll decide to frame it. And I haven't even had the chance to defend myself because you wouldn't let me stay!"

Which was true, of course, and not at all what Lavinia wanted to be hearing right now. She shook her head, stilling her hands and pressing against her eyes until sparks burst in her vision. "And if I had?" she asked flatly, dropping her hands and levelling Tonks with a frank look. "If you had been there this morning and he'd decided, as I suspect he would have, that still didn't want to talk to you or be near you or let you see him like that and run off then before I had the chance to patch him up and convince him to come home at the end of the day? What then?"