The Diary of Our Love

Chapter 25

When I tried to open my eyes there was a blur, so I blinked a few times trying to focus until I was finally able to keep them open to see the atmosphere around me. My head was still a little fuzzy. I had no idea for how long I had been sleeping, but it seemed like I had been out of this world for quite a long time.

"You're awake...." I heard a voice talking to me, so I turned my head to my right side and I saw Lil sitting on a chair holding a book in her hands.

"Is it over?" I asked her, for it seemed like it hasn't even started, but I recalled going to the surgery with the doctor.

"Yes." She nodded. "I'm gonna call Dr. Connelly and let her know that you're awake." She said, resting her book on the chair and leaving the room.

It was all gone then. In my solitude, I stared at the ceiling and instantly tears fell down my face. I cried silently until I heard some noise approaching and so, I quickly wiped the tears of my eyes and face when I felt someone was opening the door of the bedroom where I was resting. I didn't want anyone to see me crying. I didn't want to show weakness. Lil came back with Dr. Connelly, and she smiled at me as approached my bed.

"You're gonna spend the night here and then you can leave tomorrow morning." The doctor told me. "You slept a good amount of hours" She smiled.

"I can see that it's already dark." I said, taking a glance at the window and seeing nothing but a dark starry sky.

I had no idea I had slept so many hours. I had the sensation of being completely off for a long time, but not sure at all for how long.

"Like I said, you slept long hours, you must have been really tired." Dr. Connelly said. "Would you like to have something to eat?" She asked me.

"No, just water. I'm so thirsty." I told her. "I am really thirsty. My mouth is so dry."

"Here..." Lil handed me a cup of water that was right on my nightstand.

"If you need me, you just call me." The doctor told me before she left and I nodded, and then I looked at my friend.

"You should go home." I told her while sipping on the water.

"No way!" Lil exclaimed.

"Please..." I insisted. "I am fine and I am feeling sleepy, so I'll probably just sleep more. You also need to rest."

"Are you sure?" She asked me and I nodded.

"You have done more than enough." I said. "Thank you so much." Lil held my hand that moment.

"You would do the same for me." She smiled.

"I would." I smiled back. "Now go..."

"Ok." Lil bent over me and kissed me on the forehead and then left.

When she left, I allowed my sadness to command me. I wanted to fall asleep and never wake up again. I felt so depressed that moment and so lonely. I looked at the phone and the need to call James again was stronger than never. I tried to resist my temptation though, and closed my eyes trying to force myself to sleep. I definitely wanted to move on with my life now that I had nothing related to him in me, apart from the skull ring he had left with me. I planned to dedicate my time to my job and to the university. Still, with all these thoughts and decisions in my head, I opened my eyes and looked at the phone again. What time was it in San Francisco? It would be around midafternoon in there and not containing my will, I picked up the phone and dialed his number. Part of me knew he might not have been home at that time but I was wrong.

"Hello." He said after the 4th ring. His voice sounded like I had just awakened him, and he sounded restless, I could tell.

"James..." I said, sobbing. I spoke that time. I was feeling so distressed...