The Diary of Our Love

Chapter 100

"I wonder where the hell they are." I told him. "They weren't at the hotel!"

"Clearly, they're eating somewhere else and they sent us here to, well..." He went silent for a few seconds. "... to have dinner..."

I started at him for a bit and then I started laughing not controlling myself anymore. James observed me for a while but then he started laughing too.

"I'm sorry." I said, taking a deep breath. "You said not to step in your way and..." I shook my head, but James interrupted me.

"It's not your fault. What do you want to have?" He asked.

"I'll go with salmon au gratin."

"I'll go with that too." He said studying the menu. "Sounds good."

He gestured the waiter and made our order. I asked for water to drink and James ordered a bottle of red wine. It bothered me a bit that he was drinking alcohol, but I shouldn't tell him anything. I didn't feel like I could. I had lost that right in our last fight, I knew that. So, as much as it was hard for me, I kept my mouth shut.

"Are you gonna come to the show tomorrow?" He asked while we were eating.

"Sure." I nodded. "That's the purpose of these vacations, to see the shows." I said, but I saw some sadness mirrored in his eyes as he heard my words.

"Any plans to New York?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Gary is in New York, so I'm planning to spend some time with him. We're just staying for a day and a half right?" I asked to be sure. He nodded.

"Yeah, how is he doing?"

"He's doing alright now. It's been almost two years." I said. "He's got a girlfriend." I smiled. "I think it's good that he is moving on. He is still young and deserves to be happy."

"He does? That's great. I hope things turn out well for him now."

"He was hurting so much when Lil left us." I said, but I honestly couldn't finish my thought, because Lil was still a hard subject for me to talk about. "I miss her so much...." I let out in the end and I looked out at the window so he wouldn't see the tears that flooded my eyes.

"Hey, I don't want to see you sad." He touched my hand softly. I smiled at him and wished that he kept his hand on mine but he took it away. "And how's Rita?" He continued.

"Growing up." My smile opened wide there. "She's just too cute. She talks a lot, most of the words are her own vocabulary, but we manage to understand her. I wish I could spend more time with her, but they live in London."

"Just like Cali." James added. "She talks a lot to me and I just don't get a word of what she tells me, and then she gets pissed off at me because I don't know what she wants." He laughed loud.

The rest of the dinner went really well. We broke some ice and talked politely about random things, but maybe that's what we needed. I hated to feel lost, the way I did though. I clearly loved him, but I hated the fact that I didn't know what was on his mind, and for moments I was terrified with the fact that he just wasn't in love with me anymore. After desert, we asked for the bill and James insisted he'd pay, ignoring my protests.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked when we left the restaurant. "There's a great trail near."

My heart enlightened with his proposal and there was no way I was going to refuse a little more of his company.

"Sure." I nodded.

James shoved his hands in his pockets and I crossed my arms around my chest and we started walking slowly, in silence at the beginning, but then I decided to talk.