Aleksandr

Ch. 35 - Hung And Bled

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"I suppose it's true what they say,
death hurts less than life..."

- Sergey
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Chapter 35 - Hung And Bled

▪️A L E K S A N D R▪️

Fuck me.

I was so stupid.

I did not know why I had not just told Litizia the truth instead of having her discover things the way she had.

Call it a momentary lapse in judgement.

Although, I supposed a primal part of me wanted to test her, to really see where her heart lay.

"You stupid fuck..." Sergey whispered.

"Not one of my better ideas, I know," my lips twisted as I muttered a reply.

Frowning at me, he said, "I suppose it's true what they say, death hurts less than life..."

I nodded at Sergey's words, for the moment Litizia had left my side, I had felt a pain that I had never in my life experienced before; the pain of losing a loved one. From the moment she walked out the door, I knew that I would rather face death than live a life without her.

I had no choice but to live with the consequences, for losing her had been my own fault.

Leaning back in my chair, I finished my drink in one large gulp, enjoying the way the alcohol burnt my throat. I briefly closed my eyes as my hands gripped the edge of the wooden desk.

To think that we were coming up to our six-month anniversary soon, but I had to mess everything up.

"Fuck, I was so stupid!" I said more to myself.

Having heard me, Sergey agreed, "That's what I just said..."

I sat in my office down at the meat packing factory and watched my second in command as he paced about the room. It was almost comical, the way he was currently lecturing me, reminding me of the dynamics of our relationship.

"Seriously though! You're supposed to be the smarter of the two of us! Doing that sort of shit is usually my job!" Sergey stated as he paused to look at me.

"I know..."

With a huff, he continued, his voice full of exasperation, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you trying to ruin your marriage? Why would you do something like this? You know that Litizia is loyal, there's no need to test her!"

"You don't think I know that? I suppose the monster in me just couldn't help himself," I said sourly as I recalled what I had done.

It was a day I would never forget.

A few weeks ago, I had asked Litizia to go into my study and retrieve something from my desk. I purposefully sent her into the second drawer where the divorce papers lay on top, knowing that she would see them.

After finding the document, Litizia had asked me what it was and I told her.

Of course, I had purposefully stalled, delaying in telling her that the papers had been drafted before I even met her. I realised the error of my ways the instant I saw her face crumble.

When her eyes had immediately watered, I wanted nothing more than to get on my knees and beg for her forgiveness right there and then. However, before I could open my mouth to explain, Litizia just looked at me and told me that she needed to go for a ride to clear her head.