Chapter 14: What the hell just happened?

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March 2020, the first lockdown was imposed. Everyone was locked in their houses and me in mine for 4 months after meeting him once that month.

April, we talk on text only and he hates to talk on text, we start drifting apart.

This wasn't the first sign this year that we were growing apart, in the beginning of March he had told me to talk less now and go ahead and make friends and to learn to live without him, to which I dramatically declined.

Mid-April he says that he wants a break to clear things in his mind. I say that I don't think I want a break. This goes on break, off break till end of May.

During May we text this:

Him: (trying to make me understand that he wants to become something and make his parents proud and that I was being a distraction and therefore he needed a break. His parents had made a lot of sacrifices, and he wanted to be successful and that there is no point in the partner suffering too)

Me: (explaining the partner doesn't suffer, it is all out of love for the partner and not a burden. It isn't her suffering but her choice to be by his side for better or for worse)

Me: (all of a sudden) do you still love me?

Him: Idk

Me: yes or no?

Him: No! Ok?

My heart: heavy as a rock.

He said it, he didn't love me. I went through all of it telling myself that at least he loved me and now he didn't.

What the hell just happened? (I gave him a heck lot of "drama" for it)

Around 23rd May he started explaining all those things again but this time with examples and in a calm tone.

Me: Are you breaking up with me?

Him: continues explaining

Me: ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?!

Him: yes.

{Preferred Background Music: Somebody That You Loved- Bruno Martini, New Hope Club}

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