It was time for the sorting and i nervously stood with the first years at the front of the great hall.
Soon enough i heard "Lilah Buttercup" being called and i shuffled my way to the front.
Everyone was watching as the sorting hat was placed on top of my shining, blonde hair and i took a deep breath.
"hmmmm... welll... interesting... i guess.. better be...GRYFFINDOR!"
The Gryffindor table erupted with cheers but i sat there in shock. Gryffindor? But my whole family were hufflepuff?
I was so surprised that a bit of runny poo started trickling down my leg, so i rapidly stood up and sat down next to this guy called Potato or whatever.
Suddenly the doors to the hall flung open and these random blokes started dancing ariund the hall. Everyone turned around in surprise and i gasped when i saw that one off them was the delicious Viktor Krum!
Everyone whooped and cheered then all of a sudden the doors burst open again, to reveal a bunch of beautiful girls dressed in blue.
They gracefully glided into the great hall before all of a sudden Body by Megan Thee Stallion started blaring out of the speakers and they all started twerking.
"Bloody hell!" i heard the carrot top nearby me say, and i looked over to see his hand under the table, moving up and down suspiciously.
I began to turn around when suddenly my eyes latched onto a pair of familiar grey ones. The blonde stared at me intensely, before appearing to dig into his pocket and brought out his middle finger.
"who is that?" i asked the curly haired brunette sat next to me.
"Him? Oh that's Draco Malfoy, the biggest git on the planet. He calls me a mudblood every 2-3 business days. But i'd stay away from him... he's been known to be... the Pussy Destroyer..."
"The what?"
"Come with me" she said, before briskly standing up and grabbing my hand.
As we ran along the halls i clenched my buttocks together, after the previous shart incident.
We finally arrived at the library where the girl pulled me down into a corner, a thick brown book under her hand.
"i'm Hermione, by the way.." she said before opening the book to page 394.
Hermione cleared her throat before beginning.
"The Legend of the Pussy Destroyer."
YOU ARE READING
The Pussy Destroyer
Humor{satire} "i can destroy everyones pussy in this room, apart from yours. It's very frustrating." Lilah Buttercup is a quirky, shy and goofy girl who's beauty outshines anyone in her path. She's not the type to fall for a bad boy like Malfoy... but so...
