This chapter is dedicated to sw1pern0sw1p1ng
and also
dracocumsandwich
Buckle up
"You've done it Neville! You've found the room of requirement."
"The what?"
"Also known as the cum and go room. The room of requirement only appears when the person has real need of it. And is always equipped for the seekers needs." Hermione responded.
"So... say you really needed to wank...?" Ron questioned.
"Charming Ronald. But yes that's the general idea."
"I think it's brilliant" Immortal piped up, "It's like hogwarts wants us to fuc- fight back"
—
The Da all stood in line behind a dummy.
"Ex-sperm-iarmus!" Neville yelled, but resulted in his wand (😏) flying across the room, making us all duck.
"I'm useless," He sighed, putting his hand back down his trousers with a sigh,
"You're just flourishing you're wand too much, try it like this- expermiarmus!" A stream of glistening white liquid came shooting out the end of his wand and drizzled down the dummy's body. The dummy moaned in response before wheeling away seductively.
"Now, i want everyone to find a partner and practise expermiarmus." Harry moaned.
I turned around to see a brown haired Ravenclaw girl also looking for a partner, and walked up towards her.
"H-h-h-h-h-ey," I said, tucking my hair behind my ear like Debby Ryan. "My name is Lilah... whachu know about rolling down in the deep en-"
"Jasmine Moher" She replied, copying my Debby Ryan look. She had bright green eyes and slightly curly poo brown hair, with freckles littered across her face. She was so uwu and 👉🏽👈🏽 and i creamed my One Direction pants at the mere sight of the woman.
"Do you want to practise with m-m-m-m-m-m-e?" I groaned, crossing my legs.
"No she doesn't" I whipped my head around to see another Ravenclaw with short, light brown hair and brown eyes. She looked like such a baka😒. "I'm Natalie Kavanagh. And Jasmine is my girlfriend. So stay the fuck away from her you big fat white nasty smellin fat bitch." And with that, Natalie grabbed Jasmine's hand and pulled her away, farting violently in my face.
I sighed to myself and tied my pubes into a messy bun.
I wish I had a best friend of my own.... I thought. Images of a certain blonde boy flickered across my mind but i shook them away. No... a best friend. Not like Hermione or Ron or Harry, no I want a proper bestie. I'm so brocken💔🖤🥀⛓😔
I was dragged out of my own thoughts when I heard someone yell 'Spermify' from across the room.
--
a/n
yes the last little chunk may have been a foreshadowing of a new character in 6th year....
also more Draco x Lilah scenes and the truth of Lilah Buttercup will be revealed all in 5th year...
I have exams in 2 weeks time so after that i'm gonna be hella spamming
bye whores
YOU ARE READING
The Pussy Destroyer
Humor{satire} "i can destroy everyones pussy in this room, apart from yours. It's very frustrating." Lilah Buttercup is a quirky, shy and goofy girl who's beauty outshines anyone in her path. She's not the type to fall for a bad boy like Malfoy... but so...
