It's always been you (Shelby and Toni story)

Part 24 (part 1)

WARNING: this chapter can get homophobic, and it also talks about Becca committing suicide, so this chapter might be upsetting for some ppl

Shelby pov

"Shelby did I do something wrong? I know you said it ain't about Reagan, but you have been really distant lately, and I don't know what it is" she said

"No it's not you at all Toni, you did nothing wrong" I responded

"Than what's wrong? and don't say nothing cause I can tell something wrong" she said

"Toni I'm scared" I said playing with my hand

"Scared of what Shelby? Me?" she asked getting defensive

"No Toni that's not what I meant, I'm scared of coming out, I'm scared of what my dad would think of me, I'm scared of losing my family" I said

"Losing your family?" She asked softening her face

"Yes, Toni there's a 9/10 chance that I would lose my family over this, if I wasn't so afraid of that I probably wouldn't been out" I spoke

"So your family will give up on you because of who you are and you wanna be happy?" She asked

"Yes, my mom wouldn't but my daddy, I know he would, and my siblings beliefs is just like my daddy's belief" I answered

"So that's why you been so distant? But why now?" She asked confused

I looked down fiddling my fingers... "I had a nightmare" I spoke lowly

"A nightmare about?" She asked

"I- I uh never told you this but" she took a deep breath "you're not the first girl I've kissed" I said getting nervous

She just stared at me waiting for me to finish

"Becca she was my best friend" I said

"And this is talent look number 2" I said walking out the bathroom

"Ohh gorge for sure but also how is it different from the last one?" Becca asked

"That one was butter yellow, this on has a sweetheart neckline which adds some flair" I spoke and inhaled while touching my stomach "and plus it makes the girls look better" I said chuckling at the end

"Oh gosh the girls, you are a cornball" she said as I laughed

"What song did you decide to go with?" She asked

I cleared my throat and she chuckled

"Day by day, day by day, oh dear lord three thing I pray, to see thee more clearly, love thee more dearly, follow thee more nearly day by day" I sung while moving my hands a little

Becca chuckled... "nice, the song I suggested, those judges are gonna eat it up, they're even churchier than we are" she spoke

"You think I need more... dance moves" I said sitting down beside her

"Shell, don't sweat it, you got it locked up and you know it" she said

I started smiling

"You could probably fart into the mic and still take home the crown" she said

"Ewww" I said while laughing

"Hey you might be able to win the douche goatee" she said trying to mark my face with a marker but I held it up while laughing... "I think you'll look real nice with a flavor savor" she said before falling beside me as we laughed together