(mostly) Deku Headcannons and Oneshots

MORE DEKUSQUAD (bc that's all I got)

So, enjoy?

3RD POV

The whole 1-A was just in the common room. Just having fun with their respected groups. When, suddenly, you could hear Deku talking to Tsuyu.  "This was- I was a life guard. I had one death the whole time..." 

Everyone was listening. Deku noticed, but counined.  "Three months, one death, that's pretty good. It was a heart attack, it wasn't our fault, you know? guy dies of a heart attack at the top of a waterslide. It's not funny"

Ochako was trying not to die of laughter in the corner. Denki, Kirishima, and Sero were trying not laugh. Having giggles coming out every now and then. 

"That's not funny even a little bit...the discussion on how to get him down appropriately though..."

most of the Bakusquad busting out laughing, Ochako was basically a dying seal. Iida was chopping the air. "That is very inappropriate! 

A moment of Deku suffering in silence "You know, out yourself there... its a lot of steps... there were two teams, the moralists and then people that wanted to go home."

Bakugou couldn't help but smile a little at everyone laughing

Deku tried not to smile. "it was like a five in the afternoon death... what are doing here guys? are we gonna be here all day, or maybe one of us just does a little 'ooohaahah' but you know we decided you couldn't do that- couldn't do that. It was a double slide, single rider. rules are rules."

Bakugou busted out laughing. 

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Deku came up to Denki. "Rapid fire questions." He winked. Bakugou came up to him. "Where did you hind the bodies?" 

Deku hesitated. "I Hid them under.. the bridge."

"How many people did you want to kill?"

"16"

"How many people did you want to kill?"

"16"

"How did you kill them?"

"I killed them.. with my.. whole.. Hand" Deku quirked his eyebrow. 

Denki busted out laughing.

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Deku was thinking a lot today. Like more then usual. Then he spoke. "Women are so interesting when they break up with a guy, because they have to sugar coat it, because they don't wanna hurt your feelings, you know." 

They looked at him

"So it always comes out like, 'listen, like think your awesome, but... let's be friends... but I think your awesome."

Iida interrupts in Deku's pause. "What does this have to do with the hospital Decorum?"

Deku just continued. "I think a doctor should give you bad news the same way."

Ochako and Tsuyu bust out laughing. Todoroki gives a chuckle. "Like, listen.. Like, I think your heathy.. to me you're in perfect condition.."

another moment of Ochako trying to hold in her laughter and failing. "but this paper says you have tapeworms."

Ochako tries to choke out a few words, "oh my god, IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD DO" She goes back to laughing so hard, and Iida is just staring at them in disbelief. Todoroki was imagining Endeavor's face if that happened to him. 

Tsuyu is just in the back laughing and keros could be heard. "I don't think you have Tapeworms, but this test that is 100% percent accurate says you do." Iida can't hold back a smile. 

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People love Deku's stories. That was known. Now when Deku starts talking, they all listen. Deku was just talking about this one thing and was getting worked up. He started telling a story. "We're having Christmas at my house this year right. Three months out, my high school friend calls me out to discuss her son. My high school friend's son. Which make him my.." 

A moment later Deku couldn't figure it out and got frustrated. "Someone I couldn't give a fuck about.. anyway. She calls me up and the first thing she says- she doesn't even say 'hello' the first thing she says is: 'Brayden can't have blue." Deku does a weird voice as he says it. Deku suffers in silence for a second. 

"What the fuck?" 'Brayden can't eat blue foods.' apparently this kid, if he eats anything with a blue food preservative in it, he just."

Deku falls to the floor. Then quickly gets up and starts talking again. "Just taps out. THAT IS BULLSHIT." Deku stomps the ground once. "Firstly, don't call your kid 'braidy-den' secondly- secondly, blue is not even a natural color for food stuffs. It occurs very rarely in natur- name me one blue food."

Just to piss him off, Bakugou shouts "Blueberries!"

Deku was about to explode and does, "BLUEBERRIES ARE FUCKING PURPLE!"

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Ah, yes, another day accomplished.