You helped :) - DISCONTINUED

Part Thirteen

Armin's POV

It's six in the morning now. I didn't sleep until 4, so that's great.

I've just been so tired lately, and me crying into the morning hours instead of sleeping is a reason why.

I have nothing to do today, I don't have work. I don't have any homework that I haven't finished aside from the project.

Maybe Hanji will want to work on it today? Though I don't know their schedule so I have no idea if they even have time.

I should probably go get breakfast from the cafe. I hope they're open though.

After I decide what to do first today, I take a shower and get ready for the day.

Once I'm finished, I make my way downstairs, glad to see that no one is down here. I should walk today, Karl doesn't come to the house of Sundays since it's my day off. I don't want to bother him at all so I guess I'll be walking.

I head out the door and start my walk towards the cafe. I noticed a lot of animals on my way there as well. Like squirrels, birds, and some lizards. They're all so pretty, it makes me want to have a pet. My parents wouldn't allow that though, that would bring me too much joy. And even if they did, it would be used as a way for my dad to try and force me to do things I don't want to. Like play sports or bring a girl home and more 'manly man' things. I can't even bother to ask anyways since there's no way that if I am allowed one it would stay for long.

I know that because I asked for a goldfish when I was younger. My mother said no but my dad gave me the chance to get one if I stopped reading and started 'being a man'. I tried for a little bit because I really wanted a pet, though on the one day that I really wanted to read a book, my father saw. That destroyed all my progress on ever getting a goldfish and I've never tried again since.

Anyways, I've been thinking about how I have no idea what to do after high school, so that's great. Of course I thought of being a writer awhile ago but I chose not to. I don't even know what college I want to go to or if I even want to go to college. I've also thought about becoming a caretaker at a daycare after high school. Maybe that would be good for me. I've only had experience with being around one kid, that being Zach, but I find kids absolutely adorable. When they're being bratty though, that's a different story.

Can I work on being a caretaker now? Like while I'm in high school still? I could look it up online and I'll just...do it behind my parents back. My mother would never allow me to do that and my father would think it isn't manly.

Did I really just plan on looking into a career on my way to a cafe? Yes. Do I regret that my mind went to that direction? No, it was helpful. Unlike the other times my mind has decided to do that.

I walk into the cafe, glad that it's open, and notice that someone different is behind the register. From the way the person looks at me, the small amount of confusion was evident on my face.

Why am I even confused? I should know that people have days off from work.

"Hi, Welcome to Sunny's Cafe. How may I help you?"

I decide not to question about Levi working and order what I usually get from here. After I eat I have some grocery shopping to do, so that's amazing.

I barely even know what I should get. Heck, I don't even on know how to make anything aside from microwave foods.

Maybe I can make a fruit salad. That should be easy, right? It sounds easy. Or maybe spaghetti? That shouldn't be hard either, right? It's not, it can't be. All I would need is pasta, uh tomato sauce, and um beef? The only hard thing should be boiling the water, that doesn't even sound hard.

It could be hard though. After what my father talked to me about before. About how he would expect me to place my hand in boiling water if he were to ask me to. Am I really ready to unwillingly test that theory at the expense of spaghetti?

Fuck. I never thought I would be seriously scared to make food around my family. Even if I did make the spaghetti and I was forced to boil my hand, what would I do?

There's no way I'd call the cops, they won't do anything. CPS probably won't do anything. I cant tell anyone else because they would think I'm bluffing. Who would believe the son of the seemingly quiet, rich, and nice family? Who would believe that my parents made harmful physical actions against me when they where a mask to the outside world. No one. No one would believe that. Who am I even kidding, it probably wouldn't even spread to the media when my parents have the money to keep people quiet. I can't trust anyone to help me, at all. They'd all go for the money, they would turn a blind eye when offered thousands. After all, that's how much I'm worth.

No, I'm worth less. I'd probably cost $10, maybe even ten cents. I don't know.

I'm not worth thousands though, I'm worthless.

I should stop crying. The cashier is looking at me funny. I should leave. I need to go grocery shopping anyways and forget about the spaghetti.

I guess I won't be boiling anything for a long while.

I'm too scared.

I hate my family.

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I hope you enjoyed.

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