Sunflower

Chapter Eighty-Two: From now on

"Alright Kova, I want you to close your eyes and count backward from 5 and every number I want you to replay the situation in your mind." 

I closed my eyes, "5." 

"Daddy, please you've gotta wake up."

I bit my lip but kept going, "4." 

"Kogin, no, hey you can't close your eyes." 

I sniffed trying to hold the tears back, "3." 

"Maverick... What'd you do?" 

I fiddled with my sweatshirt sleeve, "2." 

"I'm here Jax, I'm here."

This was the hardest, "1." 

"No archer, what're... What're you doing-" 

My eyes shot open looking around the room for a second, "Your alright Kova," The therapist reassured me. I simply nodded back looking up at her.

"How was therapy?" Finn asked genuinely concerned. I glared slamming the car door, "Well that answers that..." 

"It's just I don't get how reliving the trauma is fixing anything!" 

"Because bottling it up and pretending it didn't happen just makes it worse..."

"What about medications? Have you been prescribed any?" 

I rolled my eyes, "Yes... Some sort of anti-depressant. I don't know what it's called I just know to take every day." 

Finn looked me up and down and sighed, "You're not taking it are you?" 

"NO!" 

"Why not?"

"Cause it makes me feel nothing." 

"Kova... Come one... it'll help just take it. For my sake that the next time I ask how therapy is going you aren't going to rip my head off." 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." 

* * *

"Where's Jax?" I asked when I walked through the door. 

"He's at home," My mom said confused, "He's got a family to Coco." 

I rolled my eyes a bit and looked at the clock, "I'm gonna go visit Reyes and Kogin then."

"Uh, Kova can you actually stay back a min?" My dad asked getting off the couch.

I paused, "Uh sure what's going on...?"

He looked at my mom then back at me, "Can we maybe hold off on going to see them for today?" 

"Why? What's going on?" 

"Um..." 

"They don't know about what happened to you," Mom blurted.

"What're you talking about?" 

"They don't know about Arch-" 

"Don't say his name," I grumbled cutting my dad off. 

My dad simply nodded, "They don't know anything about what happened..." 

"Did you not tell them?"

"No... They wouldn't be able to handle it, Coco." 

I understood my dad's concern but I wish they knew, "Okay..." I said quietly. 

"Really? It was that easy?" 

"I mean you make a good point..." 

"Therapy must be going well," My dad muttered.