Behind Blue Eyes

13

March 13th

I wake up feeling sore, but for what reason, I don't know. My back hurts like absolute hell. I struggle a bit to get out of bed, but I do, regardless. I might have to go back out to the CBD store to grab more stuff. Maybe upgrade to the higher stuff, if they even have such things.

I slip on jeans, but keep my PJ shirt on. I slip into flip flops, grab my keys and head downstairs. David's eating at the table.

"Where ya headed to?"

"I'm going out to that store you told me about. My fucking back is killing me."

"Hmm. Maybe you slept wrong?"

"That could be. I just ache all over."

"Well, you're going to the right place."

"Do you want or need anything while I'm out?" I ask.

"No, I'm good. Be careful."

"I will." I leave out through the garage. I get into my car, start it up and let the window down. It's 61 degress outside, and having that air flow through while I'm driving is one of the best feelings I've ever felt. Spring is in the air. I love it. Shit, Daylight Savings time is tomorrow. I hate setting the clocks forward an hour, but it's gotta be done. I just hate it so much.

After a twenty minute drive and listening to my music, I pull into the lot by the CBD store. I shut off my car, get out, lock it, all the usual stuff.

I step inside and hear the familiar bell ringing as I walk through the door. The little pup I saw when I came in last week is resting on the couch with a little red blanket. That's the life. He perks up and runs over to me, as if he recognizes me from the other time. I lean down and give him his pets and scratches.

The woman from last week is ready and behind the counter. "Hi! It's nice to see you again!" she exclaims.

"You too" I reply.

"How did those bath bombs work out for you?"

"Very well. I'm actually in to buy some more. My back is just killing me, today."

"Oh, no, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, the bath bombs will for sure help you with that, how many would you like?"

"Three, please."

"You got it" she says as she reaches behind the counter and grabs three of the same bath bombs she had given me before. The pup has not left my side since I entered the store. He's such a sweet, loving little pup.

She scans them. "Alright, is there anything else I can get for you today?"

"Yes, um, do you have anything that's, like, higher in dosage or CBD amount?" I ask.

"I do" she hesitates, "why do you ask? I thought the bombs were working well."

"They are, I just wanted to know."

"I think, for your safety, we just keep you on the bath bombs before we upgrade you. OK?"

I sigh deeply, but nod, fully understanding.

"OK. Nothing against you, hon, I just want you to keep yourself at a nice pace. Going up higher so quickly is dangerous, you know?"

"I understand." She rings me up. She reaches down and grabs a package. "This, I'll throw in for free. It's a CBD lollipop. Some company just gave these to us to hand out as samples." She sets it in my bag, then hands the bag to me.

"Thank you very much, I appreciate you."

"And I appreciate you" she tells me. I head for the door, and pet her dog one last time before I leave.

After I get into my car, I take the lollipop and open the package. It's berry flavored. I set it in my mouth for a few licks. It tastes like absolute shit. I run out of my car, throw the wrapper and sucker away and spit into the gabage can. Good God, that was foul.

I sit in my car, not leaving right after I start it. I feel this sudden burst of energy.

David can see that I'm in a manic state when I get back home. He's on his feet within seconds of my re-entry.

"Hi, hello, hey." I say.

"Go upstairs, now" he says. Whenever I get in my manic state, the random and rare burst of energy, David has a plan ready to go.

"Upstairs? Why, why, why, wh-"

"Go upstairs" he repeats. I head upstairs, racing him.

"I beat you! I beat you!" I chant.

"Yes, great, in the bathroom."

"OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK." I repeat, mercilessly.

We both go into the bathroom. He turns the shower on. "Get in."

"Why?"

"You know why, you're shaking like a goddamn leaf, get in please."

"I need to undress, first."

"No" he says. He then picks me up, and places me into the shower, directly under the cold water. I start to yelp.

"Calm down" he says. "Shhhh."

As I'm getting soaked, I feel my body calm down, tremendously. He sees it, too.

"Better?"

I nod.

"Good." He shuts the water off. "Change your clothes and get into bed."

Once I calm down from my manic bursts, he knows that I'm out of comission for the rest of the day. It's late in the afternoon, but after I change back into my pajamas, discarding my clothes from that wonderful shower, I'm out like a light.