Behind Blue Eyes

15

March 15th

I wake up almost like normal, again. I feel a lot better than when I did on Friday. My body is still a little sore, so I take it a bit easy when I'm getting up.

I debate about heading to the session tomorow, or just skipping it. Not because of anything they said, but just how I feel. I'll see in the morning.

I check my phone. Rachel texts me. Shit, I forgot all about that thing on Friday night. She's asking me how I am and how come I missed the party. I shoot her a message back, apologizing and telling her I just had a lot on my plate. She accepts and just wanted to make sure I was OK.

I get a text from Paul. He asks if I'm OK. Apparently, he tried texting me a few times, yesterday, but I missed all of them. I feel like such an ass, but I'm intrigued. I text him back immediately, apologizing that I missed all of his stuff.

He replies a few minutes later, telling me it's OK, he was just worried. After a little while later, around one in the afternoon, I get a phone call from him. I pick up right away; if he's calling something must be wrong.

"Hello?"

"Hi" he says, almost calmly.

"Is everything OK?" I ask him.

"Everything's OK w-w-w-with me. I just wanted to hear y-y-your voice."

I feel those butterflies coming back into my stomach and smile like an absolute idiot. "Awww" I reply.

"I'd like to ask if you wanted to g-g-g-" he stops and takes a deep breath. "I was wondering if y-y-y-you would like to s-s-s-spend time w-w-w-with me tomorrow night. Maybe spend the n-n-n-night."

My smile grows wider. "Like a date?"

I can feel him growing frantic. "Well, I'm s-s-s-s-sorry if t-t-t-that's stepping t-t-too far, I didn't' m-m-mean to o-o-offend-"

"Hey, calm down, take a deep breath. In-" I hear him. "Out" I hear him again. "Better?" I ask.

"Yes." he replies.

"Alright. Yes, I would be more than happy than to come over and spend some time with you."

I can just feel his spirit growing through the other end. "For real?"

"Yes, for real, for real. You just make sure you pick some fun stuff for us to do, otherwise I'll be disappointed."

"I promise, you'll be s-s-s-satisfied. I promise."

"OK, I'll see you then."

"Wait, then? You're not gonna g-g-go to the session?"

Oh, shit, that's right. "Damn, I almost forgot. Yes, I should be there."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright, well, I'll see y-y-y-you tomorrow, Sammy."

"I'll see you, tomorrow, Paul." We both hang up the line.

It's pretty shitty outside. It's been drizzling rain all morning and it just won't quit. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love rainy days, but this just seems sorta sad, like not even the rain wants to get up and do it's job. I feel you.

Max is unusally sleepy, today. I wonder how come. I hope the guy isn't sick. He eventually starts exploring later on that evening. My unusual sleeping patterns might have something to do with it. He hasn't been able to leave my side since I rescued him.

David spends most of the day at a friends house. Around dinner time, I spend some time at the kitchen table while mom cooks dinner. It's chicken tonight, paired with mashed potatoes and gravy. "How're you feeling, sport?" she asks.

"I feel OK. Sorry about yesterday; I hate having people drop everything for me."

"Oh, stop, you should not feel bad at all. I get that shit happens, trust me, We all do. You shouldn't feel bad at all, especially for something that is out of your control."

"Thanks, Mom."

"What's the one rule I have?" she asks.

"Never lie, because telling the truth is easier and better?"

She pauses. "What's the OTHER rule I have?"

"Never say you're sorry?"

"That's the one. Never EVER say you're sorry, especially for something that is out of your hands." She stops what she's doing and turns to sit with me for a minute. "You know I love you no matter what happens, right?"

I nod.

"Then you should feel OK. No sorries needed, OK?"

"OK" I smile.

"Good." She kisses my forehead, then turns around and heads back to the stove. The food smells terrific and tastes delectable once it's done. She perfected it like it was nothing.

I might have accomplished nothing, again, for the second or third day in a row, but at least today felt fufilling. Paul confirmed his feelings for me, at least somewhat, and who knows, I might have those same feelings for him. I haven't been on a date in... a while, so I'm happily nervous for tomorrow. I hope his sweetness isn't deceptive. I know it's not, but I never fully know.