Behind Blue Eyes

14

March 14th

Not much happened at all on this day. Given that it's a sunday, and I slept 17 straight hours, I'm out of action for the day. I spend the entire day in bed, with the occasional check up from David, mom and dad. They bring me food, they make sure I'm OK every hour on the hour. Max rests with me for the day. He's such a sweet, soft boy. It isn't until later that night that I gather up the strength to get the hell out of bed and walk, ever so slowly, to the bathroom. I undress and notice a bunch of bruises on my body. There's five by my count, and they're just on different, seemingly random spots on me. I don't know how I got them and why they're there, but I do bruise almost easily. I'm like an old woman.

I settle into the bathtub, with one of the bath bombs, and take the longest bath I've ever had. I rested into the scalding warm water for almost two hours; an hour and 47 minutes to be plain and exact. When I get out, my fingers and toes are shriveled. I shiver after stepping out. The second my body hits the cold air, I can barely get my footing. I struggle for five minutes to put my clothes back on. It's fucking hell. I take my time to walk back to my bedroom, slipping back in with somewhat ease. I turn my heated blanket on, scroll through my phone for about thirty minutes, then fall asleep with Max on the pillow next to me. I hate it whenever I get in my manic states. It's very rare, but something clicks every now and then that makes me get like that. Hopefully that will end soon. Actually, now that I think about it, it just might...