Chapter 18: I wont stay here

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Chapter 18: I won't stay here

 " i won't stay here suspended forever I must be on my way"— butterfly Boucher

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" i won't stay here suspended forever I must be on my way"— butterfly Boucher

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Fate , I never really believed in it I think I did for a time then quickly came to my senses, fate was a spiritual thing , to believe that something is predetermined ment that on some level you had to believe in a greater power , that power being the one to predetermine things. I much rather believe in coincidence because coincidence doesn't offer explanation, it doesn't offer reason or theory it just is .

People tend to rationalize the bad things that happen to them as fate, then go onto add reason to why something happened or why that thing that happened to them that was traumatizing was a good thing because it made them stronger. People rationalize their own abuse and trauma alot . I'd like to think it's why we never really live up to our full potential as people.

Maybe it's why I couldn't stand religion, I mean imagine going through all kinds of abuse verbally, sexually, physically and then some pedophilic priest looks you in your face and tells you that it's a test from god , or god never gives you more then you can handle.

When you really think about it , why give someone anything at all. Imagine someone tells you that someone a human not a god had you beaten , battered and tortured just to tell you that it's a test to see how strong you are . You'd say that that man is sick , cruel and inhumane so why is it when it's " fate" that it's justifiable . Because it wasn't a person but instead an inexplicable force.

I'd much rather believe that if something happened to me , that it happened by chance , that there was no reason for it , that it happened because it would've happened and it just so happened to be me that it happened to that's a lot more comforting then being told I was singled out for character development .

" where were you". My mother asked following me through the door , I was more surprised she had actually noticed I was gone.

" I was out Miranda ". I responded

" you've been gone for two day I filled out a missing persons report and where'd you get all this". She said eyeing the bags I had brought back from Finns place. I had brought what I could back with me

" don't worry about it  ". I said

" I am your mother you do not call me Miranda", she yelled

" yeah ... ok". I said sarcastically turning around to head to my room
the
" where are you going, we are not done here". She said walking up to me and snatching one of the bags from my hand . She dumped the contents and was looking at the clothing Finn had brought for me

" where did you get this .....are you selling yourself?" She asked I couldn't help but let out a scoff

"Selling myself and if I were? What do you care? It's not like you get me anything or do anything for me". I said astonished

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