Pack Queen ( under editing)

Chapter 2: Be nothing

school ended and I made my way to my shitty house on the otherside of town, your maybe wondering how someone like me could get into such a "good" school well my favorite uncle was able to pull some strings and get me in he's friends with the principal and didn't live far

I pushed open the door of my shitty  two bedroom apartment, to the sight  of, my mother passed out on the couch, wine glass in hand . I stepped over the pile of rubbish that I'll no doubt be left to clean and made my way to my room.

I made it to my bed and free fell on top it. It'd been a long day, I found that Monday's were always the longest days out of the week, I didn't get the chance to grab a cup of coffee I was running so late. I had work up to knees and a midterm to study for, only two more years and I'm out of that hell, and this god forsaken house.

I can't say I'll miss much of anything, I didn't have any friends , which was probably a good thing. I couldn't imagine having to expose anyone else to my drunk of a mom.

Most people with shitty lives tend to have a backstory where things were good and then there's this turning point where things get shitty wether it's gradually or instantaneous But I'm not most people with shitty lives, I honestly couldn't remember a time before this, if there was a time must've been before I could remember.

Growing up I moved around a lot , from one spot to another, constantly being the new girl ,not for any good reason like being a military family. No it largely due to the fact that my mother couldn't keep a job , which led to multiple eviction notices being left outside our doors . This town was the longest I think I'd lived anywhere, and to be honest though I could never put my finger on it something always felt off about the place.

The sound of the front door opening broke me from my concentration, it must be my moms no good, abusive , cheating, boyfriend Emmanuel or " manny" as he likes to be called. He was a large reason why we still haven't gotten evicted from this shitty two room. He always stepped up in terms of making sure my mom had a place to live , mostly because he seemed to have this unhealthy obsession with her and liked the idea of her being close by , while simultaneously enabling her so she'd have no where to go and no one else to turn to.

As for me , I sort of just existed to Manny , we hardly spoke, the most contact we ever had was the first time he hit my mom and I got in his face. I was later scolded by her for " getting in grown folks business" that was the last time I ever did that . Any other time I was just there to him and her. I feel as though ever since I've been born , all I've really ever done is be there .

Wether it's at home or at school, school  was just painful everyone seemed so generic, the football team  which is the schools pride and joy was made up of a bunch of  sex driven sexist Neanderthals who probably still struggle to wipe there asses , not to mention couldn't read out loud in class if the future of the universe was dependent on it. The cheerleaders
Seemed vain and egotistical especially Stacy she seemed  the worse of the lot,  she had her head so far up her own ass she could probably watcher herself chew.  then there's AP students all they ever did was study and seek extra credit and keep the Robotics team from being under funded, not to mention bring back spelling bee trophies.

They weren't as bad but had a tinge of narcissism to them along with being arrogant not all of course , just most.  a lot of the kids in the school were rich with families that lived on the other side of town, most people just seemed surprised that my working class ass got past security at the front door.

Of course looking like me and being there, I faced ridicule ,criticism but it never bothered me, nothing really ever bothered me, not since i was 10 . I'm not sure if I just stopped expecting things from people to avoid disappointment Or if I just finally accepted my circumstances but not much could get to me at all.

Aristotle once said " To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing "

I was naturally good at say nothing, doing nothing , and being nothing but criticsm I always found it's way to me, I guess pretending to be invisible doesn't actually make you invisible.

After the next two years , I won't have to worry about this shitty two room, or the kids that peaked in my high school , I'll be out of this place and attending NYU or some other college in New York City, Far far away from my drunk mother, her weirdo boyfriend and this small town with equally as small minded people.

I sat up, reaching for my inhaler, I have really bad asthma, with the upside being that I was excused from most PE activities. Which some would consider a blessing but in the winter it was a curse . The only thing I'd managed to keep up in my life was my grades, other wise known as my one way ticket out of here.

My head turned to the sound of something smashing, I rolled my eyes, they were at it again. I quickly ran to the door and locked it,

" you ungrateful bitch". I heard manney yell

" ungrateful you fucking hoe, you think you can just fuck people and come to me , I know you fucked that girl Emmanuel". I rolled my eyes reaching for my earbuds, I grabbed my phone and pressed play on my current favorite song
High enough by Kflay