Pack Queen ( under editing)

Chapter 42: ludo Regum

Chapter 42 : Ludo Regum

[][][][]

I've always been a cynical pessimist, I don't know if that'll change . I could never find the brighter side to anything only it's rotten reality. I don't think anyone could fault me for such a way of thinking. With the world around as it is , it's better to be skeptical then naive .

The truth is whatever happens next I'll never know that type of fear can really eat away at someone, but these days I can't say I have much to lose , or live for . My boyfriends destined to be with another girl and so is my ex before him, my nemesis is destined to be with me , some ancient evil vampire king is coming after me . I'm spent. I don't have whatever strength or drive to fight anymore everything I've known is a lie , hell if my family had, had it there way I'd have sacrificed in some blood ritual.

Hating Mason was all I had , I had reasons , so many, but deep down i knew that I was using him . He was a scapegoat for everything bad I felt , I could see that he was trying , I could see that in his own way through desperate attempts, lavish gifts , guilt ridden letters that he was reaching out , but I denied him , rejected him , for spite , for pettiness. My small way of making him suffer as I did , as I do .

Honestly there is a lot of things that are Mason MCCann's fault . but there were things that weren't, him being mated to me , Finn leaving me , my crazy ass family that I've never met , this immortal weirdo heading my way . I knew that but I still chose to resent him all the same. Mason represented something to me. A weakness that I wished to purge from myself. A past I'd always longed to runaway from and even now knowing what I know, feeling how I feel , I don't think I can see him as anything but a constant reminder of my pain and suffering, wether it was his fault or not he was at the center of it all . A reminder of who I was , what I've lost , or what could've been .

I've thought it over a million times since yesterday, I've thought over any and every moment. I don't have anything to lose I'm sure the only thing I had to lose was my life and I don't care much for it these days. No one is coming to save me and I can't save myself.

I thought of my mother while I was here, she'd called me numerous times and numerous times I'd not responded to her texts or calls. she'd handed me over to the McCann's without so much as a second thought. she was convinced that they could help me for what was to come. I knew what she thought, a family like the McCann's was a mother's wet dream for her children , the wealth , status , reputation I doubt it was something she needed to think twice about. sure she wanted me safe , I'd give her that but I'm sure she's pleased with the idea of being part of this family regardless of wether an undead weirdo was after me or not.

——————————————————————————-

" just push it back by 3 more weeks it could be the week before school starts".

" the wedding ceremony is suppose to be tomorrow Mason". My father told

" an what kind of wedding would that be , hasn't she left the house since Robin shifted , she's been here this whole time like some hostage , she hasn't picked out a dress , or anything what are we gonna drag her to the back yard have one of the elders say a few words , then walk back inside the house where she'll remain until school starts back , she's asking for this one thing and atleast this time maybe there's a chance ". Mason told

" a chance at what?" My father asked

" for me dad, if I can introduce her to the pack maybe even get her to like everybody, she doesn't have a family all she has is her mom , maybe if she gets to know us, our ways , she could feel welcomed view us in a better light, her birthdays coming up we can just dignify this one request ". I explained to my father.  He let out a long sigh rubbing his temple.