Suicidal

Chapter nineteen

Bella's POV:
I awaken to the noise of birds chirping, the early morning light hitting my face (not sun but just light in general) and for once, I feel at peace with the world, with myself. My brain processes an arm wrapped around my waist and I turn around to see Edward still sleeping (he's pretending) and I cuddle into him, usually I shy away from touch, but with him I feel so safe. I see his beautiful golden eyes flutter open and he pulls me closer into him, stretching softly. I smile and kiss his cheek, he begins to quietly speak, "good morning my love, did you sleep well?" I feel the blush and huge smile spread across my face at the pet name before I reply, "I did Edward, did you?" He smiles and hugs me softly before replying, "with you in my arms, how could I not?" I smile and curl into him, resting my head on his chest, and wrap my arms around him, the silence of the house around us is so relaxing as Edward and I talk, getting to know each other better. Before too long, someone calls us for breakfast and Edward and I walk downstairs together, our hands intertwined. When we reach the dining room, Edward, as always, pulls out my chair for me, I sit down, Edward sitting next to me, and softly greet everyone a good morning. They all reply with their own responses and we begin to eat. As always I push the small amount of food on my plate around it. The dread of actually eating it building up inside me. I start to slowly eat, chewing my food a million times before swallowing it, the food pilling up in my stomach, making feel sick and hate myself more than I already do. I chew and chew and chew, but I can't deal with the thought of digesting the food, or the weight that comes with it. I sigh almost silently and place down my fork, I softly thank Esme for my food and patiently wait for Edward to be done with his food. When he finishes, we pick up our plates and take them to the kitchen, I begin to wash mine, but Edward stops me, "don't worry about that Bella. Come on, let's go back upstairs." I finish washing it anyway and the follow Edward back upstairs. When we get to the room I'm staying in he sits on the bed and placed his hands on my hips, his eyebrows furrowed. A question that makes my stomach twist falls from his lip, "why do you not eat enough baby?" I swallow nervously and shut my eyes. I softly reply, "Edward...I...I've always had issues with the amount of food I eat...not only was I starved of food by my father...but I was starved of food by myself...not eating enough has always been a method of punishment for me...and I still hate the thought of eating too much." He growls quietly and pulls me onto his lap and holding me tight against him, when I try to move a little, his grip tightens, but not enough to hurt me. "You have to eat Bella, your body needs food to function, to live." I nod softly into his chest, "I know, it's just so difficult."
———————————————————————————————Edward's POV:
I keep my arms tightly wrapped around Bella, scared she'll slip away if I loosen my hold on her, I bury my face into her neck, taking in her scent to calm me down and stopping me from going to the place that monster she calls a father lives in, and ripping his head off. Her hands reach up to my hair and she softly plays with it, a content sigh slipping through my lips. I close my eyes and wished that at this moment in time I could sleep, I want to sleep all night with Bella safe in my arms, dreaming dreams of our hopefully long lives together. Of our wedding and family that we will hopefully raise one day. I smile and lift my head up to face her, her beautiful face comes into view and she smiles back and I lean down slightly to capture her lips with mine in a sweet, soft kiss. We softly kiss for a while, pulling away so Bella can breathe and I can pretend to, before resuming. My hand resting on her waist and neck, gently holding her to me, her hands in my hair, holding me to her. After some time I pull away and rest my forehead against hers, I play with her hair and whisper, "I love you baby, so much." A breathtaking stunning smile illuminates her face and the soft sound of her reply fills my ears, "I love you too Edward." We stay cuddling for a while and then Bella decides to talk, "Edward, I feel so safe with you, so cared for. I want to say thank you for saving me, for loving me. Without you, I'd probably die soon or already be dead. You light up my world of darkness, and you scare away my nightmares. I want to be with you forever, I know we haven't been together long, but I feel like you're my soulmate, I want to marry you one day, have a family together and spend our lives together." I smile so widely I'm surprised my face didn't split in two, "I want that too Bella, I can't imagine my life without you anymore." She gets off my lap and I pout playfully at the loss of her touch. She giggles softly and stretches her hand out for me to take, I intertwine our fingers and she presses a soft kiss to my cheek. "I need to change into something suitable for wearing around the house." She says, I nod and walk to my room to do the same.
(Edward's outfit)

(Bella's outfit)

Still Edward's POV:
I walk back to Bella's room after I'm dressed and knock on her door, I hear her voice telling me to enter and so I softly push the door open to see her. She's so beautiful. I softly kiss the top of her head and wrap my arm around her waist, we walk downstairs, and Bella softly asks if I'd like to go on a walk, I smile and reply that I'd love to. I leave a note for my family and we walk out the door. We walk through the Forest surrounding my home and walk slowly into town. We go to the grocery store as Bella said she wanted to cook dinner for my family tonight as a thank you, so I grab a shopping cart and we start getting things for steak and mashed potatoes, as we're about to que to check out, someone yells Bella's name and she freezes up beside me, I look at her with concern as a man storms towards us screaming, "YOU LITTLE BITCH, RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME. HOW DARE YOU LEAVE, I GAVE YOU A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD AND FOOD AND CLOTHES." I push Bella behind me gently as the man gets to be right in front of us, "Sir please do not yell at her that way, you're frightening her." I calmly state, he goes red in the face and turns his attention to me, "I'm guessing you're the whores latest customer, how dare you tell me how to talk to my own daughter." I scowl and reply as campy as I can to prevent Bella from getting anymore frightened, "please leave us be, we're shopping for dinner and have no business with you." I turn around and wrap my arm around Bella's waist, we check out and she reaches into her purse and pays despite my protests. Just when we're leaving the store, and I think we've finally gotten away from that vile man, Bella screams and I tighten my grip on her and look behind her to see her father pulling her hair, trying to drag her away from me. I punch him in the nose and he stumbles backwards, letting go of Bella's hair. I know he won't arrest me because there where eye witnesses in the store who heard him yelling at Bella and witnesses out on the street who saw him attack her. I open the car door for her and she shakily gets in, I shut it and put the groceries in the trunk before getting in the car myself. I grip the steering wheel tightly until I hear Bella sobbing beside me. My anger melts away and the only concern left is calming down the woman I love. I reach over and gently pick her up and put her in my lap, she grips my shirt tightly and I softly stroke her hair as I rock us back and forth, humming quietly to try and soothe her. After a while she calms down and I dry her face and press a soft kiss to her forehead. She sits back in her seat and I drive us back home. When we get there, I grab the food and lead her shaking body back into the house. I put the groceries away after sitting Bella on the sofa, I then walk back to her and softly murmur, "I'm so sorry baby, I shouldn't have let him near to you. I probably shouldn't have hit him either." She shakes her head and replies, "I'm ok now, I'm shaking from adrenaline, I wanted to run but I knew you wouldn't let him hurt me." I nod softly and hold her close to me. I rub her back, feeling myself relaxing as she does. Before long she stands up and we head to the kitchen to start cooking dinner, about halfway through she asks me, "how do your family eat their steaks?" And I respond with, "we all eat our steak rare." She smiles and nods as she starts to cook them, I rest my head on her shoulder and wrap my arms around her waist. When we finish cooking I help her carry it to the dining room and place it on the table. My family walk into the house, most likely Alice told them that dinner would be ready, and walked into the dining room. We all sat down and ate the amazing food Bella had cooked.