Suicidal

Chapter twenty

Edward's POV:
After we've finished eating Bella begins to clear away the table, but she is stopped by Esme, "Bella dear, you cooked us a wonderful meal, please let us clean the table." Reluctantly she nods and I intertwine our fingers and walk with her to the music room. I sit at the piano stool and ask, "do you still know how to play?" She nods and sits next to me as I smile brightly, "will you play for me?" She nods again and then asks, "what should I play." I reply, "anything." She turns to face the piano and starts playing a song that I don't recognise it, and saying I've been alive for a hundred and nine years that's saying something, (the song she's playing is above) but it's beautiful none the less. When she finishes I softly clap and she blushes bright red, I laugh and kiss her red painted cheek, "that was beautiful love, who wrote it?" She smiles shyly and replies, "I did." As soon as I think she can't get anymore perfect, she proves me wrong, she takes my hand in hers and slowly guides us to her room. She opens the doors to the balcony and steps out there softly beginning to talk, "I want to tell you my story Edward, if you'll listen." I grab her hands, "I'm honoured you trust me enough to tell me my love." She takes a deep breath and starts, "my first memory of my father was when I was three years old, it was my first day at nursery and the day I learnt my name, he always just called me a freak so I thought that that was my name, guess it would've set red alarms if I didn't answer to my own name. My room until I was ten consisted of a blanket on the floor, but when he started dating this woman, he decorated it and took the bars off of my window that were always there. He was still easy to anger but he didn't hit me, they separated when I was eleven and the bars were put back up and a deadbolt put on the door , the room was left as it was though as he couldn't be bothered to take it all apart and dispose of it. When I started elementary school he started hitting me, the first time was when I asked if one of my friends could come round to play, he said that murderers don't deserve friends and slapped me across the face. Bust my lip open. When I was seven he broke two of my ribs and my leg, he told the school we'd been in a car accident, they believed him. When I was ten he started burning me with lighters and installed a metal ring in my wall to tie me down. When I called you for help that time and I was gone for a week, that was when the rape started, I got home and he was furious, he said that  I was whoring myself around the school to the boys, so he dragged me down to the basement and said that if I was going to act like a whore, he'd treat me like one, I screamed and begged for him to stop, but he never did, and it happened every night until I left, he drink himself into a stupor and then come to me seeking release. One night he let his cop friends come round and they took turns beating and raping me, that was the night I stayed over too late, I-I felt so useless, so used, but none of them cared, they stabbed me and left me there, I dragged myself to my room and patched myself up. No one came to help, no one heard my screams, or my cries or pleads, no one cared enough to help the sixteen year old girl who wanted to be loved until you came along, I can never repay you for saving me Edward but I'll try my best to." When she finishes, she's sobbing and I'm crying tearlessly, she falls to the floor screaming and I sit next to her and hold her tightly, my heartbreaking for her, the only thing stopping me from killing that monster is Bella, I pick her up and carry her to her bed before gently setting her on the bed and holding her again. Tears continue to stream down her beautiful face, I wipe them away and kiss her forehead, "I'm so sorry my love, you did not deserve any of that." She clings to me and slowly, but surely, her breathing returns to normal. She softly sits up properly and starts to remove her jumper, (she has a vest on underneath don't worry) and for the first time I can clearly see all of the scars, cuts and bruises that litter her skin, I lean forward and press soft kisses to as many as I can without making her uncomfortable. "You're so beautiful Bella, these scars don't change that, in fact they only make you more beautiful to me, they shoe your bravery." She sits on my lap and we just hold each other. After a while I ask, "do you want to watch a film?" She nods and I pick her up and carry her downstairs, we sit in the movie room and she picks out a movie, she puts it on and it's the first iron man. I smile as she comes and sits next to me and rests her head on my shoulder. As the movie plays she watches with a keen interest and eventually moves her head to my lap as she lies down, when the credits are finished and she still hasn't moved, I check and find her asleep, I smile softly and pick her up and carry her to bed before going hunting.
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When I get back I head upstairs to change and then check on Bella and she seems fine so I climb into bed next to her, wondering if she'd mind but, as if she can still sense me when asleep, as soon as I lie down, she cuddles into me. Smiling I kiss her head and wrap an arm  around her. I watch her peacefully sleep for the rest of the night. When the darkness of the world turns to light and Bella begins to wake up, I close my eyes and slow my breathing to make it look like I've been asleep all the night, she yawns and stretches into me, she turns over and places her face in my neck, I pretend to wake up and kiss the side of her head sleepily, before gently tightening my grip on her. I put on a morning voice and softly murmur, "good morning love." She smiles against my neck and utters the same words in response, she lifts her head and looks me in the eyes, I tuck her hair behind her ears and softly kiss her, grateful I brushed my teeth last night because I doubt the taste of deer blood would taste good to a human, she kisses me back and then pulls away. As we lay together, I think about my vampirism and how I should probably tell her, the only problem is, I don't know how to tell her. I'm scared that she'll be so scared of me she'll leave, or worse, think I'm a monster. I decide then to tell her later that day and prayed to the heavens that she'd still love me no matter what.