Power of M

chapter 12

12. I do the wrong thing. Again.

I don't like to admit it but I feel like I owe it to Arthur. I cried when I read the note. Go ahead and laugh. I don't care. And you should also know that I am currently scared out of my mind, though I would never say that in front of Ash. I may sound like an utter disappointment but I'm just being honest.

Arthur didn't deserve to die the way she did. I sleep with it under my pillow, praying for it to give me strength. I haven't showed it to Ash and I don't think I ever will. That letter was personal and if anyone else saw it I'd feel as if I was somehow exposed. Why did she convince me that she deserved to die? What did I ever do to make my life hell? Forget it.

Arthur said something thing in the letter, that is possibly the only thing that's keeping me going so far. Arthur said that if I mastered my powers we would meet again. Does that mean I can raise her back from the dead? No, that's not possible. That sounded completely ridiculous. But there was a huge 'what if?' question bubble hanging above my head.

I had to master my powers anyway, no matter what. Another confusing part in the letter. She told me I had to bond with the tattoo. How the hell am I supposed to do that? I can just imagine me and the tattoo going to the cinema, my left wrist with the tattoo on one chair and the rest of my body on the other chair next to it with a box of popcorn in the middle.

Don't fight the pain. I don't get it. How am I supposed to fight the pain when it's not even physically a person? I can imagine Arthur shaking her head and telling me it doesn't work like that.

That image made me smile and I tried to erase all my negative feelings. Right now we couldn't afford to lose hope. Now was the time to bite back.

But Ash and I are having a hard time with each other. She doesn't seem to trust me anymore it's as if she is afraid of me. Which I'm not going to lie, kind of hurts. It's obviously because she thinks I will kill anyone to be able progress with my tattoo. But that isn't true.

What I did to Arthur wasn't me being prideful and eager. That was a choice which destiny had been waiting for me to make. Ash was treating me like I was some monster and that's how I felt.

It had been a few days and the queen hadn't come to check on us or do anything to us, which made me, realize she must be practicing her powers and that made me feel guilty for not even attempting to practice mine. When we felt tired and switched off the light, I would sit up in the darkness and press hard on the tattoo until it hurt. Noting would happen and I only succeeded in making myself feel more frustrated than ever.

Tonight, was such a useless night and I felt so frustrated and angry. What if my stupid tattoo couldn't do anything? Maybe the hidden power was that it could make all the power go away. I felt stupid and betrayed. I felt like hitting a wall but when I saw Ash's sleeping form, I decided against it. I don't care if she trusted me or not, I was going to look after her. We were in this together.

In the morning Ash was shaking me awake.

"Alex. Wake up. Dude, come....on!" my head reeled sideways off the bunk and I awoke with a jump holding my hands over my head instinctively, for protection. Ash smirked and dragged my hands off my head.

"What? Who? Where?" I asked groggily wiping drool off my face with the back of my hand. Ash tried not to look disgusted and roll her eyes saying something like 'boys.'

"Alex, we can escape now. I heard someone unlock the door. Someone is trying to help us."

Somehow those words didn't seem to register into my mind and when it did,

"Mavis."

"What?"

"Mavis, she's the one who is helping us."

I didn't want to escape anymore. We couldn't leave her behind to get in trouble if she did get caught. Ok yeah, maybe the trick she played on me wasn't that cool but I know she felt guilty about it. Or was that just wishful thinking?

"I'm not going anywhere." I said surprised at how rough my voice sounded.

Ash stared at me blankly and I could almost see a big red question mark hanging above her head.

"Alex, you aren't serious right?" her voice shook slightly and she looked so vulnerable but I shook my head as firmly as I could manage.

"I'm not coming." I repeated. Her face hardened slightly filled with disbelief and frustration.

"Alex, I'm sorry but I'm afraid of what you are becoming. I really am. Can you forget the tattoo for once and be my completely ordinary stupid brother again? Can you........" she paused faltering slightly. "Can you forget about Arthur?"

I looked at her defensively. "No. Never. But this isn't about her Ash. There's an innocent person here who is trying to help us. We can't leave her."

Tears filled her eyes. "Alex......she is doing all this so we can escape. Do you want her entire plan to fail and end with all of us getting into trouble?"

I turned away and I heard her give a slight sob but when I turned back to glance at her, her expression was hard.

"You made your choice Alex and now I'm going to make mine."