Hxh head cannons!

Angsty Killugon Headcanons (TW)

TW: mentions of parental abandonment, PTSD, scars, abuse, self harm, death

• Not a headcanon but I'm so pissed we never got to see Killua and Gon's initial reunion when he first woke up

• When Killua left, it reminded Gon a lot about how his dad left him. He starts to wonder why everyone he loves leaves him and what he's doing wrong. This further makes him try to be positive 24/7 so no one else leaves and totally deteriorates his mental health

• Killua has a really hard time watching Gon grow older and taller. It reminds him of the form he took to kill Pitou

• Gon gets jealous of Alluka, but he still likes her. He feels so guilty for being jealous but he just sees Alluka as stealing Killua from him. Before she showed up, Killua's number one priority was Gon and Gon only. But now it's Alluka and It makes Gon feel sad because his number one priority is still Killua

• Killua is really self conscious about his scars. Gon tries to make him feel better but he never really knows what to say. On top of that, Killua refuses to go swimming without a shirt on so no one sees his scars. He tries to hide them from people, Gon especially, because he doesn't want people to see him differently or weak

• Gon over apologizes when he does small things wrong, break a plate, drop something, etc, so that Killua won't get annoyed and leave him

• It really bothers Killua how Gon never openly and seriously talks about his trauma. It's not like he's mad at Gon for not talking about it because he knows it hard but it's more so he's worried about him and upset he feels he can't tell him. In reality, Gon just tries not to think about to dwell on his trauma, and doesn't wanna worry Killua or anyone else for that matter

• Whenever Gon leaves his side, Killua is always extremely worried that something will happen to him and he won't be there to protect him. He knows Gon can handle himself, but even in short trips like to the grocery store or going to visit Kurapika or Leorio, he can't help but worry

• Killua secretly never wanted to find Ging and was really happy when they found Kite instead. He knew that when they found Ging, things would never be the same and Gon would probably leave him (which ended up being true I'm out)

• While Gon was in the hospital, Killua was so scared he would die in his sleep or when he wasn't there. Because of this, Killua has developed a fear that Gon is gonna die in his sleep and will stop breathing. He stays up for hours after Gon falls sleep and just watches him to make sure he's ok