Hxh head cannons!

Random Angst Headcanons (TW)

A/N: TW (abuse, PTSF, sexual assault/harassment, grooming, PTSD, suicidal thoughts, gender dysphoria, [internalized] homophobia, and more)
Just as a general rule, don't read my angst headcanons if you're sensitive to difficult topics

• Illumi has a pin in his head that he put there after being fed up with the abuse and emotional pain he goes through. It enables him from showing any morality, humanity, or emotions other than hate

• The real reason the Zoldyks locked up Alluka was that they were scared one of the Zoldyk children would request her to kill the parents

• Alluka is really self-conscious about being in people's lives and their feelings towards her so she always urges Killua to go see Gon or Kurapika or Leorio without her so he can have fun without her. She thinks she is just a burden and that they don't want her there anyways (both of which are wrong they love her but she's been abused and conditioned to believe so)

• Alluka and Gon are super close, and Killua loves it but is also jealous sometimes

• Killua also saw Kite after saving Gon and cried when he saw him. Kite meant a lot to Killua too and I think that's so overlooked. Killua clearly looked up to Kite and respected him, he trusted him too which we all know is really really hard for Killua to do, especially with adults. On top of that, Killua was the last person (besides Pitou) that Kite talked to because Gon was already passed out. He was the one who left Kite and was the one who left him to die and it weighed on him every day. He felt super responsible for his death and the turmoil it put Gon through

• Morel's nen ability, similar to Kurapika's, is also slowly killing him and deteriorates his lungs each time he uses it

• Kurapika used to be really secure about his appearance and more feminine presentation but is now super self-conscious about it because everyone always makes fun of him for it

• Leorio has horrible back issues and neck problems from studying all the time and being super tall/ having a major growth spurt (SAME)

• Similar to how Kurapika is with spiders, Gon doesn't like ants

• When Gon woke up, Leorio was right at his bedside table and because Leorio is so tall, he completely mistook him for Kite. Everyone there had to remind him what happened and also tell him that Kite was reincarnated

• Killua refuses to set foot in a hospital after Gon's accident, even to go visit Leorio

• Leorio is in pediatrics and every time he loses a patient (which is very uncommon for him because he's an amazing doctor obviously), he gets depressive episodes and dreams about his old friend who died

• After meeting up, Gon was actually the one to leave Ging first after realizing how horrible he is

• Someone (I'm thinking Kite Kurapika Bisky or Leorio) helped Gon realize that he was groomed and is a victim of sexual assault/ harassment (those old women who "dated" him on whale island)

• Bisky means a lot to Killua and he would never admit this, but he sees her as his main parental figure other than Gotoh

• When Killua found out Gotoh died, he was inconsolable and not even Gon or Alluka could calm him down. He cried, slept, and killed anyone who pissed him off for weeks and no one could do anything to help him

• Canary found Gotoh's body and similar to Killua, was inconsolable for weeks

• When in her room, Alluka constantly wished for Nanika to kill her so she wouldn't have to live like this. But, Alluka can't make wishes so she never died

• When they're all older, the Zoldyk siblings gang up to kill their parents and dismantle the business

• Kite's parents left him at an early age (this part is canon btw) and when he found out Ging left Gon too, he punched him and left his ass (AS HE SHOULD)

• Kite has really bad body image issues and dysphoria in his new body. He often wishes Pitou had just killed him and left it at that versus having to come back to life in his new body

• When Kite was reincarnated, he lost his Nen ability and won't ever admit it but he really misses crazy slots (he didn't lose nen completely but he has to start over from scratch so he's without crazy slots for a while)

• Gon has a sensory processing disorder and one of his safe fabrics is the clothes he wears. This is one of the reasons why Gon never changes clothes and his senses are super sensitive

• Illumi has an obsession with cats because they remind him of Killua, especially ones with white fur or blue eyes

• Every time Leorio is on the verge of losing a patient, he sees Gon or his old friend's face on the patient and it makes him fight for them 10xs harder

• Illumi grew out his hair because Killua liked to play with it/ braid it when he was younger

• Alluka has learning/mental impairments from being cooped up in that room and her brain being under-stimulated

• Alluka has extreme claustrophobia and refuses to go anywhere closed in/ with no windows. Like she won't get on elevators, she takes the stairs instead

• Killua has really bad internalized homophobia (as do all the Zoldyk children do who are LGBTQ+, Illumi especially)