His Ruthless Revenge (A Dark Bully Romance)

Chapter Thirty Seven

I submerge myself beneath the warm water and close my eyes as I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. I'm surrounded by bubbles and even light a couple of candles to help me relax.

Except it doesn't seem to be working.

It's been a couple of hours since I left Chase and my mind has been racing ever since. I'm still debating whether I should go and see him later and the decision is driving me insane.
Who are you kidding? My subconscious taunts me. Of course you're going.

I was always going to go back there tonight. It's not even a choice.

"April, your dinner is ready!" My mum calls up to me from downstairs.
"I'm coming!" I yell back, wrapping a towel around myself as I leave the bathroom.
I head downstairs once I've got changed, leaving my hair damp until I can dry it properly.
"Aren't you hungry?" My mum asks me, noticing the amount of food I've left on my plate.
"I seem to have lost my appetite." I reply softly, tucking my hair back behind my ears. "I'll eat something later if I want anything."
"I think you need an early night." She advises me, starting to clear away the table. "I heard you pacing back and forth last night so you must be exhausted by now."
"Sorry if I kept you up." I apologise hastily. "I think it's just because I'm in a strange house. I'm not used to it."
"This isn't a strange house. It's your home." She points out firmly.
"You know what I mean."
"An early night will do you good." She reiterates, taking my plate away as she heads back into the kitchen.
"I'm going out again later." I inform her, trying to keep my voice light and carefree.
"Where to?"
"An old school friend sent me a message earlier. She's back in town for a couple of days and asked if I wanted to hang out at some point."
"That sounds like a great idea." My mum encourages me, smiling cheerfully. "You've seemed so down since you've been here. And I've been worried."
"I best start getting ready." I tell her, eager to change the subject.
"What time will you be home? I don't want you walking by yourself in the dark."
"I won't, Mum. I promise."

I make my way upstairs to search through the bag of clothes I brought with me. I didn't pack anything desirable because I had no idea I'd be needing it. I thought I'd be staying home for the majority of my time here and had no idea I'd be meeting up with Chase.
I instantly chastise myself for caring about what I look like, reminding myself that I'm still in a committed relationship with Finn and would never, ever cheat on him.
Why the hell does it matter what I look like?

Who are you trying to fool? My inner voice sneers spitefully. It's Chase you want and Chase you're hoping to impress.

I shake my head vigorously, hating myself for being so weak and pathetic. I'm acting like I don't have any willpower and need to get a grip before someone gets hurt.

Including myself.

I eventually find a pair of tight leggings that I packed as well as the knee high boots I love to wear. I also find a black T-shirt as well as a cute jacket that will go nicely with it. My red lipstick completes my outfit and all that's left for me to do is my hair.
"Guess this will have to do." I say to myself, staring at my reflection in my full length mirror.
I don't want to look as though I've tried too hard and what I'm wearing appears like I haven't put too much thought into it.

It's perfect.

"Are you off out then?" My mum enquires, smiling at me as I enter the living room.
"Yeah, I don't know what time I'll be back so don't wait up for me."
"Are you sure? I don't mind."
"I'm a grown woman, Mum. There's no need to worry about me." I assure her kindly.
"That's my job." She reminds me. "You'll understand when you have kids of your own."
I smile weakly and grab my bag, combing my fingers through my hair as I shut the front door behind me. It's only a short walk to his house but I decide to take my time, almost hoping I can delay the inevitable by walking slowly.
I just know there's no going back after this. I know my life will be changed forever and I'm not sure I'm prepared for that.
My phone goes off just as I turn the corner and I glance down at it, realising it's a text message from Finn. I consider reading it but choose not to, reluctant to feel any more pressure from him to come home and fix things.
He's been on at me to sort myself out ever since I left and he's still angry with me for leaving in the first place. He has no idea what I'm going through and part of me believes he isn't capable of understanding. We've always been on different pages when it comes to my past and I'm starting to realise how distant I actually feel from him.
I switch my phone off and shove it inside my bag, approaching the driveway that leads to Chase as well as absolute uncertainty.

It's now or never... and I already know what choice I've made.