His Ruthless Revenge (A Dark Bully Romance)

Chapter Thirty Two

Chase

Fuck, she looked incredible.

In-fucking-credible and I already despise her for it.

I knew she'd look amazing but nothing could have prepared me for how sensational she looked tonight.
It's been four years. Four fucking years since I last saw her and I've spent every single one of those days aching for her.
I used to imagine what it would be like to see April again. I'd fantasise about it every night before I went to sleep and it gave me a tiny bit more strength to carry on the next day.
The fact that I actually spoke with her tonight is mind-blowing. I can't quite believe she was standing right in front of me and I still managed to keep up with the pretence.

I decided to tell April the truth about why I first started seeing Miranda. I told her how my first plan was to use her for my own gain and make her fall for me so I could manipulate her and get exactly what I wanted.
The only thing I lied about is having genuine feelings for Miranda. The truth is I feel absolutely nothing for her and never have done. She's only ever been a means to an end for me and nothing is ever going to change that.
Reality is that I still crave April with every fibre of my being but still despise her for what she did to me. The fact that I can't have her right now and know she's with someone else makes me feel sick.
I decided the best way to get close to her again was to lie about my relationship with Miranda. If April thinks I actually care about her then it gives me an excuse to stick around. It gives me a reason to get closer to April and come between her and that son of a bitch she left me for.
I still can't believe she told me the truth when April said she she never left me for Finn. It doesn't make any sense after I saw the video of the two of them and that's the only proof I need.

I collapse onto my sofa and inhale slowly, trying to quieten my mind like they teach us at my anger management classes. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I can tell it won't work tonight and know I'm going to need something else to take the edge off.
The sound of my phone ringing distracts me and I fumble for it inside my pocket, reluctant to answer the call. I take a quick look at the screen and smile as soon as I see who is calling me.

Billy.

"Hi, Daddy!" He greets me excitedly.
"Hey, Buddy! How you doing?"
"I'm good. I'm playing with plasticine." He informs me brightly, sounding pleased with himself.
"You are? That sounds awesome." I encourage him, smiling to myself.
"Daddy wanna play too?"
"I'd love to but I can't right now."
"Why not?" He asks, sounding disappointed.
"Cause I'm not at home right now, remember?"
"Where are you, Daddy?"
"I'm... at work." I reply evasively. "But I promise I'll be home soon."
"I want to see you now." He complains woefully, sulking because I'm not there with him.
"I'll see you real soon, Billy. I promise."
"Ok." He accepts begrudgingly.
"You best help mummy clean up that mess or she'll be mad." I warn him, making sure he helps out as usual.
"Mummy wants to talk to you." He blurts out, taking me by surprise.
"She does? Ok, put her on the phone then and I'll see you real soon."
"Love you, Daddy."
"I love you too, Buddy."
I hear him handing the phone to Louise and brace myself. The last thing I want is to have a conversation with her right now but it might be important and as much as I hate having anything to do with her; she is the mother of my child.
"Hey." She says softly, sounding a little breathless.
"What do you want, Louise?" I demand brusquely.
"I'm not allowed to say hello to the father of my child?" She challenges me, her voice confrontational and frustrated.
"Not unless it has something to do with Billy." I point out bluntly, disregarding my manners.
"It is to do with him." She emphasises. "He misses you."
"I miss him too and he knows that. I'll be home soon."
"When?" She demands curtly.
"That's none of your business."
"It is when we're supposed to be raising our son together."
"I'll call you tomorrow, ok? I have to go now." I tell her, eager to get off the phone.
"Is there someone else?" She blurts out, taking me by surprise.
"No." I sigh impatiently, rubbing the centre of my forehead. "And even if there was it's none of your fucking business."
I hang up the phone and switch it off, knowing she'll only call back if I leave it turned on.
God, I hate her. I hate seeing her, I hate talking to her and I hate having anything to do with her. I know I have to because of Billy but I still loathe every second of it.
I'm supposed to cherish my son's childhood but all I can do is look forward to the time I don't have to deal with her anymore.
Louise has absolutely no idea that I've been searching for April all this time. It has nothing to do with her but I also know how difficult she'll try and make things if she finds out I've been searching for her. She lets me spend as much time with Billy as I want at the moment and I need to keep it that way. Nothing can jeopardise that.

I end up pouring myself a large glass of whisky and gulp it down. A pathetic attempt to try and numb the excruciating pain that's threatening to consume me.
It obviously doesn't help and my mind remains restless. It keeps on replaying what happened after I walked out on April a few hours ago, forcing me to relive it over and over.

In the end I decide to call Miranda and get my confession over with as quickly as possible. She asks to come over and I say yes; expecting her to shout, scream and throw things once she finds out the truth. She already knows where my apartment is and arrives a few minutes later with an apprehensive look on her face.

She's also surprisingly quiet and subdued after hearing my revelation and the silence is unbearable.

"Did you hear what I said?" I ask her, wondering why she's not showing any sign of being upset at all.
"I heard you." She whispers, staring into space despondently.
"Is there anything you want to say to me?" I prompt her, wishing I could just get rid of her already and tell her to leave.
"Thank you." She murmurs softly, clearing her throat.
"For what?" I ask, wondering if I misheard her apology.
"For being honest with me." She clarifies, taking hold of my hand. "I knew there was something you weren't telling me before but now I know the truth."
"You... you don't want to break up with me?" I ask her, struggling to understand how she can be so weak.
"Gray, that's the last thing I want." She says earnestly, taking my hand in hers.
"My name is Chase." I remind her, struggling to contain my annoyance. "I told you that Gray isn't my real name."
"Sorry." She apologises hastily. "That's going to take some getting used to."
"I should be the one saying sorry to you." I reply calmly, forcing myself to act like I give a fuck.
"You already did and we can all move forward now."
"If that's what you really want?"
"It is." She confirms quickly, eager to convince me. "You're all I want, Chase."
She performs oral sex on me right there on the couch and I don't stop her. All I can do is close my eyes and let my mind wander elsewhere... to the person I actually want kneeling down in front of me instead of Miranda.

The only way I can ever enjoy intimacy with anyone is if I think about April. It always helps when I close my eyes or when I fuck from behind so I don't have to see her face.
It was completely different when I was with April. I was addicted to having sex in the missionary position because I loved being on top of her and staring into her eyes when I was inside her.
I haven't experienced that with anyone since then and don't intend to. I've slept with plenty of women since April left but none of them have meant anything to me. I use them for one thing and move on swiftly.
I fantasise about her every single time I'm with Miranda. I even bought her the same perfume that April used to where and told her it was my favourite. She wears it all the time now, oblivious to the fact that it reminds me of my ex.
I suppose you could say that Miranda is the closest thing I've had to an actual relationship since April but she still doesn't mean anything to me. She means absolutely nothing and I almost pity her for being so gullible and naive to think she does.

I made a promise to myself that I would destroy Finn one day and this is my chance. He took what's mine and now I'm going to destroy someone he cares about as the ultimate revenge.
"Yes! Yes! Right there! Give it to me! I'm yours. I'm yours to fuck!" She screamed wildly, arching her back as she thrust her hips back against me.
"Let me hear you beg for it." I ordered, yanking her hair back even harder.
The kinky bitch loves it when I'm rough with her and I'm all for it so long as I don't have to see her face.
"We're going to be so happy together." She whispered breathlessly, collapsing onto the floor with exhaustion.
"We really are." I told her, rolling the used condom off my dick as I threw it towards her. "Put that in the bin and get going. I'm going to take a shower."

I left her on my living room floor so I could go and wash her scent off me. I wanted no reminder of her once I'd fucked her and hoped she got the message.
I spent half an hour underneath the water, staying in there for as long as possible so I didn't have to face her.
I exhaled slowly as I entered the living room, relieved to find that she'd gone. I suddenly spotted something out of the corner of my eye and reached for the note which was left for me by the front door.

I'm sorry if I upset you. I'm not mad about anything you told me tonight and I just want us to start again and move forward together. I won't let anyone come between us and I'm willing to fight for you and our relationship.
See you tomorrow. I love you.

Miranda x

I tossed her note in the trash and chuckled lightly. Poor girl has no idea what's coming...