His Ruthless Revenge (A Dark Bully Romance)

Chapter Thirty Six

"Are you sure you're ok?" My mum asks gently, a concerned look on her face.
"I'm fine." I assure her, smiling weakly.
"I wish you'd open up to me more, April. I've not been able to read you since you were a little girl." She sighs unhappily, placing her hand on top of mine.
"I just need some space. Honestly, that's all there is to it."
"Are you sure you and Finn are ok?" She questions me, trying to figure out what's really going on.
"I think so." I reply vaguely, trying to avoid another interrogation from her.
"Well, dinner will be ready soon. You must be starving."
"I'm actually going to get some fresh air before we eat." I tell her, slipping on my coat as I head towards the front door.
"Do you want me to come with you?" She offers kindly.
"It's ok. I won't be long."

I breathe a sigh of relief as soon as I step out of the house, quickening my steps in case she tries to follow me.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mum to bits but she can be incredibly overwhelming at times. She's not stopped pestering me since I got back and it feels like I'm suffocating.
She greeted me last night but I went straight up to bed as it was so late by then, mentally and physically exhausted. I knew she'd have a thousand questions for me this morning but still refused to answer any of them.
I woke up this morning and just lounged around the house, depressed and miserable as I tried to figure out what I'm going to do next. I came here to try and put the pieces of my life back together and forget about Chase, foolish enough to believe that putting some distance between us would help me gain some perspective on things. The fact that I feel more drawn to him than ever is beyond frustrating.
There's so many memories of him here and it feels like I'm drowning in them. He's everywhere I turn and my feet seem to have a mind of their own as they head towards the house we once shared together.

It only takes me a few minutes to get there and can't quite believe I'm standing outside it. The house looks exactly the same except there's no car on the driveway and the blinds are shut. It's eerily silent as I close my eyes and inhale deeply, reminiscing about the past. 
I wonder who lives here now and why it looks so empty. It makes me sad to think it's been abandoned but I don't have the courage to take a step closer and take a look around.
We used to be so happy here. Chase and I were so in love and optimistic about our future until Louise bulldozed our lives and completely tore us apart.
Part of me wishes I could go back to the day she first told me that she'd slept with Chase. God, I would handle things so differently if I could do it all again.
Hindsight is a remarkable thing and I now see I should never have kept it from him. We should have been honest with each other from the start and she wouldn't have had any power over us.
I take one last look at the house I once loved before turning to leave, gasping when the front door starts to open.

Chase.

He exits the house and walks towards me, both hands shoved in his front pockets as he nervously approaches.
"Hi, April." He says softly, smiling weakly.
"W-what are you doing here?" I demand roughly, shaking my head in disbelief.
"I could ask you the same thing." He replies solemnly.
"I didn't even know you still lived here." I say truthfully, struggling to understand how he's standing right in front of me.
"I don't but I still own it." He explains calmly. "I couldn't bring myself to sell."
"I... I don't know what I'm doing here." I reply candidly. "But I should leave."
"You wanted to come home." He whispers softly, reaching for my hand. "And so do I."
"This isn't my home anymore and it hasn't been for a long time." I snap bitterly, snatching my hand away from him. "I've got you to thank for that."
"I know." He agrees hastily, dragging his fingers through his hair in exasperation. "I know I'm the one to blame for everything that happened. I know it's all down to me."
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to him so remain silent, fighting the urge to reach out to him and remain defiant.
"I really should go and shouldn't have come here."
"Wait." He implores me, reaching out for my hand once more. "Please come inside."
"Why the hell would I want to do that after the stunt you pulled yesterday?"
"April, please." He begs me. "I can explain what happened with Miranda and I can explain  everything else as well. I just need you to hear me out."
"I'm with Finn now and you need to accept that."
"Then where the hell is he?" He challenges me harshly. "Why have you ran out on him so you could come here?"
"I-I just needed some space." I stammer helplessly, fighting back my tears.
"Who are you trying to kid?" He scoffs disdainfully. "You came back here for me and I came back here for you. It's always been you and me, April. Always."
"My mum will be wondering where I am. I need to get back!"
"Text her." He urges me gently. "She'll understand if you're a little late."
"Five minutes." I concede reluctantly, following him inside. "And then I have to go."
We enter the hallway a moment later and I take a look around, noticing the wallpaper is exactly the same as before and so are the furnishings I picked out all those years ago.
"It looks the same." I observe out loud, entering the living room. "It's exactly the same as when I left."
"I didn't want to change anything." He mumbles quietly, embarrassed and uncomfortable.
"Why not?" I ask him, turning to face him directly.
"I was afraid I'd change it to something you wouldn't like."
"If I came back?"
"I know it sounds stupid." He chuckles lightly, refusing to look at me. "I feel like an idiot now."
"No, it's not stupid." I assure him. "It's just a little sad."
"I guess it is."
"What are you even doing here? Did you follow me?" I question him, trying to remain focused so I don't start feeling sorry for him.
"Miranda said that that you came home and it didn't even feel like a choice. I just knew I had to follow you." He reveals earnestly, wanting me to believe him.
"Why? What could you possibly have to say to me after everything that's happened, Chase?"
"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry." He murmurs, lowering his head.
"You're sorry?" I mock him contemptuously, shaking my head in astonishment.
"I'm sorry for how I treated you in the past. I'm sorry for the misery and torment I put you through in school. I'm sorry for betraying you with Louise and I'm sorry for not being honest with you from the start. I'm sorry for keeping her pregnancy from you and I'm sorry for blaming you when you ran out on me. I'm sorry for using Miranda and not being honest with you when I told you I had genuine feelings for her. I orchestrated the whole thing and I've only ever shown an interest in her so I could hurt you."
"You were lying when you told me you actually cared for her?" I challenge him, stunned by his revelation.
"Yes." He admits, lowering his gaze as though he's ashamed of himself.
"And did you tell her to come over to your apartment yesterday?" I ask him. "You told me that she turned up unexpectedly but that was another lie, wasn't it?"
"Yes."
My hand reaches out of its own accord and slaps him across the face. My palm stings as soon as I've done it but refuse to rub it, seeking comfort in the fact that his face will be hurting so much more.
"You're revolting." I announce boldly, absolutely disgusted by him.
"You're right." He agrees quietly. "I'm everything you say I am and I deserve every fucked up thing that's ever happened to me but it's honestly as though something just clicked inside my head once I found out you left. I now realise that you're the only thing that matters to me. My need for revenge and my desire to punish you for leaving has consumed me for so long, I became obsessed by it. I let it rule my life but I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to try and make amends for what I did and Jesus Christ, all I need is you."
"You've got a funny way of showing it."
"I know I do."
"How the hell did we get here, Chase? What happened to us?"
I take a seat on the sofa, cradling my head in my hands as I close my eyes.
"I guess we just loved each other too much." He speculates, joining me on the couch so we're side by side.
"People don't destroy one another like we did if they really love each other." I point out.
"I've always loved you, April. Even when I hated you, I still loved you."
"That doesn't make any sense. You don't make sense to me and you never have done." I groan dismally.
"I get why." He replies softly. "I don't exactly make things easy."
He places his hand on top of mine but I pull away, folding my arms across my chest as I stand up.
"I need to get back. My mum will be worrying about me and you know what she's like."
"Come back later." He demands boldly, taking me by surprise. "Please."
"Why?"
"We need to talk. There's things I still have to explain to you."
"I'm too exhausted. I can't take it anymore, Chase."
I rub the centre of my forehead, hating myself for even considering it in the first place.
"Please come back later. I need to go and pick Billy up in an hour cause he's spending the afternoon with me but I'll be free later on tonight."
I clench both my fists at the mention of his son's name, fighting against the anger that threatens to consume me.
"This is dangerous." I warn him, forcing myself to face him head on. "You know it is."
"Well, you always liked a bit of danger." He reminds me, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "And I doubt that's changed."