His Ruthless Revenge (A Dark Bully Romance)

Chapter Forty One

Present day...

I can't believe I forgot about my first encounter with Chase. My buried memories rush back to me as a single tear rolls down my cheek; overwhelmed by the emotional tsunami that just washed over me.

Chase has always been there. He's been there from the very beginning and I didn't even know it.

I eventually manage to prise myself away from the fire and go to bed, tossing and turning all night as I fail to get any sleep.
A huge day awaits me tomorrow and a lot of decisions have to be made.
I still hate myself for being tempted by Chase this afternoon and know I need to be honest with Finn about what happened. It's not going to be easy but I've got to face it sooner or later. No more lies.
The other person I can't stop worrying about is Miranda. She's head over heels with Chase and has no idea he's just using her to get back at me. I'm certain she'll never forgive me when she finds out and can't say that I blame her.
I'm about to lose two of the most important people in my life and have no one to blame but myself. I'm accountable for my own actions and need to take ownership of that.

I get up the following morning and instinctively know what I need to do next. I have to speak to Chase and find out why he's held onto my locket all these years and waited until now to give it back to me.
We lived together for years and he never mentioned it to me. Did he actually realise that I'd forgotten all about it? It's so odd to me and I need to find out his intentions before I make any more decisions.

Mum has an appointment this afternoon so I decide to wait until she goes out before leaving the house myself
I can't face any more questions from her and plan on being home by the time she gets back anyway.
I head out a few minutes after she leaves and make my way to Chase's house. I keep rehearsing what I'm going to say to him in my head, stumbling over my words as I run them over and over.
I'm still clutching my locket, trying to conceal my excitement at the thought of seeing him again. I have no intention of repeating what took place between us the day before but still have butterflies in my stomach. It feels like I'm finally going home and haven't felt like this in a long time.

I walk around the final corner and smile as soon as I see our old house. Knowing he's inside fills me with excitement, electricity and nervous energy all at once.
There's a car parked in the driveway that wasn't there before but I don't recognise it. Its appearance causes me to pause for a few moments, hesitantly waiting to see if there's any movement inside.

His front door opens a couple of minutes later and exuberant voices soon follow.
"Watch how fast I can run, Daddy!" A little boy squeals loudly, racing across the front lawn at full speed.
"Billy, be careful!" A female voice calls after him, scooping him up in her arms.
"Whoa! Watch where you're going there, Buddy." Chase adds, chastising the little boy gently. "What have we told you about cars?"
"They go really fast!" The little boy giggles, kicking his legs out so the woman is forced to put him back down again.
"Exactly." Chase chuckles, ruffling the boy's hair playfully. "Which means you have to...?"
"Go really slowly." He replies dutifully, repeating what his parents have obviously taught him.
"How did you get to be so smart?" Chase jokes, grabbing hold of the boy and lifting him up onto his shoulders. "How did we end up with such a smart kid?"
The animated child starts to settle down, wrapping his arms around his dad's head as though he's holding on for dear life.
Of course I already know the woman's identity by now. The horrifying truth is the little boy belongs to Chase. It's his son and the outrageously attractive woman beside him is Louise.
"He takes after his mother of course." She teases him, tickling the little boy as he shrieks with laughter.
"I'm not too sure about that. Didn't you fail all your exams?" Chase replies boldly.
"You liar!" She scolds him, slapping him on the arm as though she's mad at him.
She's only wearing gym clothes but still manages to look incredible. She has her hair tied up and is squeezed into the tightest pair of leggings I've ever seen. She's also wearing a matching crop top which shows off her enviable physique and just how toned she is. Having a baby obviously didn't impact her figure and I can't help hating her even more for it.
"Are we OK for the same time tomorrow then?" Chase asks, lowering his son to the ground carefully.
"Of course. You can see him whenever you like, you know that." She tells him, placing her hand on his arm.
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
"Billy, we've got to go now. Say bye to Daddy."
"Bye, Daddy." The little boy says obediently, sulking a little as he tries to climb in the back of the car. "It's not fair."
"I know it isn't but I'll see you tomorrow and that's really soon." Chase assures him, lifting him up and placing him in his car seat.
"Yes!" Billy cries triumphantly, punching his small fist in the air.
"Remember to be a good boy for Mummy."
"I will."
"Bye, Son. I love you."
"Love you to the sun and back!" Billy yells joyfully, his eyes sparkling with adoration for his dad.
"The sun? That's even further than the moon." Chase laughs, beaming with pride at his little boy.
"Bye!"
"Bye, Handsome." Louise throws out flirtatiously, winding down her window as she waves him goodbye. "See you tomorrow."
Chase waits a few moments before reaching for his phone, raising it to his ear as though he's about to call someone. My own phone starts to vibrate almost immediately but I don't need to check who it is.
Fury and immense rage surge through me as I clench both my fists; tempted to hurl my phone at him in an attempt to hurt him.
I'm shaking uncontrollably as I force myself to turn around and walk away, struggling to process what I just witnessed as I trudge back home again.
The locket I've been grasping all this time is digging into my palm so I loosen my grip and let it fall to the ground, turning my back on it as well as Chase for the final time.

At least that's what I tell myself.

I decide to take a walk before heading back to mum's, hoping some fresh air will clear my head and help me calm down.
My eyes are swimming with unshed tears as I put one foot in front of the other and wander aimlessly.
The sight of Chase with Louise and their son has changed everything for me. Seeing them together felt like a dagger through my chest and I don't know how I'm supposed to make the pain go away. It was excruciating to watch which proves I'm not strong enough to deal with that on a daily basis.
I can't believe how close they seemed. They were laughing and joking like old friends and it made me feel sick to my stomach.
How the hell can he be like that with her? How can he stand to be anywhere near her after what she did to us? After what she did to me?
I understand he has to be civil to her for the sake of their son but does he really have to enjoy her company as well?
Louise has been chasing after him for years, ever since we were at school and she's finally got him. She played the long game and succeeded in the end and I just don't have the strength to fight her anymore.
She's the mother of his child and there's no way I can compete with that. Even if Chase and I somehow managed to work things out between us, she'd always be there and never let us be happy. She'd make it her personal mission to destroy us all over again and use her own child to do it.
I can't be a part of this anymore. I can't keep playing the same toxic game and expect a different outcome.
Being with someone as intense and self-destructive as Chase will never be normal.
Louise stole that from us and we both just let her.

She's won.

A few hours later I tell mum that I've spoken with Finn (a blatant lie) and decided to go home. She seems pleased with my decision but doesn't ask me any more questions about it. She seems to understand that I don't want to open up and I'm grateful for that.

She drives me to the train station and waves me off, making sure I promise to visit her again soon. Once I'm on the train I choose a window seat and reach for my phone so I can send Finn a message and let him know I'm on my way back.
I notice there's a missed call from Chase as well as a voicemail from him.

"Hey, it's me." He mumbles awkwardly, his voice a little shaky. "Look, I really wanted to give you some space after what happened yesterday but I was hoping I would have heard from you by now." He pauses for a moment before taking a deep breath and carrying on. "The truth is... I miss you, April. I miss you and I need you. I want you to come home and really need you to talk to me. We can't run away from this anymore and have to decide what we're going to do next. I love you and hoped you'd realise how much I mean that when I gave you back your locket. I realised it was time for me to give it back because as cheesy as it sounds... it's your heart I want. I want you more than anything in this world but it's ultimately not my choice who you give it to. As much as I want to call you mine and think of you in that way, I now realise that you're not. You're your own person and no one can make that choice for you. All I can do is hope and pray that you choose me because I've already chosen you, April. I chose you all those years ago when you asked me to keep your locket safe and even though I've failed plenty of times since then,  I swear I'll never let you down again. I love you and I don't know how else to say it. I'm here. I'll always be here and I'm not going anywhere. Whether you decide to come back to me today, tomorrow or not at all... I'll be here and I'll always be waiting."

Tears stream down my face by the time I hear his voicemail and don't have any tissues to clean myself up. There's several people staring at me as though I'm completely mad and I'm absolutely mortified to break down so publicly.
"You ok, lovely?" An older lady enquires gently, sitting down beside me and taking me by surprise.
She has a kind face and I can tell she's not asking to be nosy. Her warm  demeanour is relaxed and friendly, which helps put me at ease right away.
"Not really." I reply honestly, exhaling slowly.
"Have a tissue." She advises me softly, handing me an unopened packet from her bag.
I take it from her and dab my eyes, grateful for her compassion as well as her generosity
"Thank you."
"Do you want to talk about it or should I mind my own business?" She wisecracks playfully, making herself comfy as the train pulls out from the station.
"I honestly wouldn't know where to start." I sigh heavily, raking my fingers through my hair.
"The beginning is always the best place and it's a long journey so we both have time." She encourages me, smiling pleasantly.
"OK then." I concede exhaustedly, taking a deep breath. "I guess it all started with a boy called Chase."