Proses with its Roses

&&. 38

&&.

last night, 3 a.m., i heard someone in our comfort room crying. at first, i got goosebumps but when i went closer and listened to her words, i realized that that kid wasn't someone to be scared with.

“I did everything... but why can't it be enough?" she uttered. i walked closely and even knocked, hoping she would answer me but she didn't, it seemed like she couldn't hear my knocks.

"No one's proud of having me. Everyone sees me as someone who's worthless. I just wish I am like other kids... they're happy, unlike me." i opened the door and saw her sitting on the floor, covering her face.

"I hate myself for being me. It sucks being me. No one would want to be like me." she kept on saying.

finally, i saw her face when she looked up and tried to touch the light. she's such an angel having a dark world.

"I wanted to be the light so they can finally see the shine in me and so they can look up to me. I also wanted to be a butterfly to be beautiful. I wanted to be anything aside from myself. Being myself sucks."

and then there, my eyes slowly watered. that was my exact words when i was a kid. i patted her head and said, "I'm so proud of you. You've done so well. Thank you for not giving up."

right after I told those, she smiled and vanished. my soul that i lost back then will finally take its rest.