Never again (Quinntana)

Chapter 39 - Out of reach

Quinn had been sitting in her living room for an hour now. Several times she'd stood up, and almost knocked on Santana's bathroom door. Every time she'd decided against it, hearing the shower running. 

Santana wouldn't have heard her knocking in any case. 

Leave her alone, Quinn, she admonested herself. 

Yes, but what if she needs help? What if-

Help? From you? 

The voice inside her head was mocking, incredulous. Quinn gulped. Right. 

She remembered all too well the feeling of Santana's body pressed against her, the feel of Santana's frenzied hearbeat settling against her chest. She remembered the agony of pushing her away, when all she'd wanted was to pull her even closer.

Most of all, she remembered the hurt flashing across Santana's features.

What have I done? Quinn thought. She was hurt, she was opening up and I pushed her away. What have I done?

At this point she could hardly bear the thought of herself. Disgust overwhelmed her. How selfish am I? How- 

Quinn pushed herself up from the couch again. As she headed towards the stairs she heard them creak, and saw Santana climbing them down, her skin red even through her deep tan. 

As soon as Santana spotted her, she descended the stairs a little more warily, advancing towards Quinn as if she were some kind of wild beast.

Quinn winced, staying silent as she watched her former friend. 

Santana had stopped a few feet away from her, and was now fidgeting with the hem of her borrowed T-shirt. 

"Are you okay, San?", Quinn asked, breaking the awkward silence. "Your skin-"

"I'm okay." Santana cut her off shortly. Quinn nodded reluctantly. It was obvious Santana didn't want to talk to her anymore. 

A few seconds passed, then Santana opened her mouth hesitantly.

"Um-" she started.

Quinn looked at her for a few split seconds, noticing her bare feet, then: 

"Come on, I'll lend you some socks and shoes."

She carefully avoided getting too close to Santana as she rounded her and ascended the stairs to her bedroom.

Santana followed several feet behind, seemingly humoring Quinn's need for space. 

My need for space, Quinn thought bitterly. She's making efforts for me. For me. When she was the one assaulted. What kind of bitch am I?

Soon enough Santana had shoes on, one of the few pairs of sneakers that Quinn owned. The two girls went down the stairs and found themselves in the living-room.

"Quinn-" Santana started.

Quinn made eye contact with Santana, then frowned. Santana's right arm was lifted slightly,  almost as if it were reaching for her. Is she- she thought, but Santana's arm dropped to her side, her gaze no longer on Quinn.

"Thank you, Quinn." The tone was harsh, reluctantly grateful. Quinn opened her mouth to respond, but Santana was quicker.

"Thank you for the clothes. I'll return them, don't worry."

Then Santana was at the door, then on the street, Quinn still standing in her living room, agape.

Didn't want to stick around, huh? Figures.

Quinn clenched her fist. Her nails dug into her palms, and as she reveled in the pain, her mouth stretched into a bitter smile.

Had I been her, I wouldn't have stayed either.

A.N. 

Hello beautiful people! I hope you're all doing fine. I am very bittersweet about this chapter, because I both think it needed to happen and feel really sad seeing the characters go through that. 

Do you think Quinn and Santana's relationship is too broken to salvage? Should they end up together? Let me know in the comments :)

P.S. Chapter dedicated to @mrsjauregui26 for her votes! Thank you for joining us! I hope you're enjoying the read ❤

Thank you to all of you for reading, and my heartfelt thanks to those of you who vote and comment ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Have a nice day and a nice week-end,

Alya