Never again (Quinntana)

Chapter 44 - Back to the beginning

The day went by like any other day. Santana avoided thinking about Puck. She avoided thinking about Quinn as well. Her mind had shut down after their interaction the day before, and she did not really feel like dwelling on it. Quinn had shown her time and time again how unreliable she was. And the last thing Santana needed was yet another betrayal.

Practice went well, and Santana made a point to be irreproachable. The Coach was steadily watching her, eager for a mistake that would no doubt unleash the anger she felt at Santana's absence the day before.

Practice ended. Santana threw a look at Brittany, who was leaving her alone for the umpteenth time to practice for a video clip with two useless boys. What were their names again? Sike and Burt? No. Kike and Murt? Didn't sound right. Mike and Kurt? Yes, probably.

Santana shrugged it off. A shower at home it would be, then. She was not in the mood for social interactions, and a slow jog to her house would help relieve some of her tension. Decidedly, she headed towards the door of the gym.

As she pushed it open, she was surprised to find a certain green-eyed blonde sitting on the bleachers, seemingly waiting for someone.

At the sound of the door opening, Quinn lifted her head and stood up, tentatively walking to where Santana was standing.

Santana shook her head, convinced Quinn had only seized the opportunity to get back inside. She took a few steps away, before she heard: "Santana! Santana, wait!"

The Latina's heartbeat quickened, and she slowly turned towards Quinn. "If it's about the clothes, I'll return them tomorrow, don't worry. I just needed to wash-"

The blonde cut her off. "It's not about the clothes." The decisiveness of her tone triggered something in Santana's mind. Suddenly the memories came rushing back.

Lucy was sitting on the stairs of their school's playground, fidgeting with the hem of her dress, as the last of her bullies ran away from Santana. She looked at Santana evasively, then back at the ground. "My mom- my mom wants me to go to a boarding school, San."

Santana frowned. "What? Why?"

Lucy smiled a ghost of her old smile. "She noticed my torn clothes. She thinks I am not disciplined enough. Not rigorous enough. That I have to learn to take care of myself." Her tone was defeated, as if she somehow agreed.

Santana clenched her jaw. There were few people she despised as much as Lucy's mother. "Does she even know-"

Lucy cut her off hurriedly. "No. She doesn't. It doesn't matter. She's right. I can't defend myself."

"No. No. She's not right. You should not have to defend yourself. This is not normal. This is not okay. And if you ever need-"

"I don't need you to defend me."

Santana froze at Lucy's tone. It was almost- icy.

She blinked, slowly, tears pricking her eyes. She turned her back to her friend, trying to regain her composure.

"San? San-" Lucy's voice broke. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean-"

Santana sniffled. "Yes. You meant that."

Lucy's hung her head. "Yes, I did. I don't want you to get hurt for me, San. Ever." Again, the same decisiveness in her tone. Except this time it was warmer, closer to what Santana was used to.

Santana turned around, facing Lucy once more. She took her friend's hands in hers. "Listen, Lucy. I'm not getting hurt. I'm fine. And I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for me. Because, if I didn't, I would not be able to look myself in the mirror. And if you- if you got hurt-"

Lucy smiled her sad smile, her piercing green eyes shaded with sorrow. "Your life would be so much better without me, San."

Santana shivered. She entwined her fingers with Lucy's and snuggled closer, burying her head on Lucy's shoulder. "No," she murmured. "No, it wouldn't." 

If Lucy heard her, she didn't show it.

A.N.

Hey! I'm back for good! 

Thank you so much to those who still read this book. The updates should be more frequent from now on, so enjoy this chapter knowing that more are coming 😊

Much love,

Alya